Quote-o-rama:
Firefly

Mal: Which one you figure tracked us? 
Zoë: The ugly one, sir. 
Mal: Could you be more specific? 

"I shaved off my beard for you, devil woman!"

"It's a real burden being right so often."
					-Mal

"You can't open the book of my life and jump in the middle."
					-Mal

"Yessir, Captain Tightpants."
					-Kaylee

Mal: ...And I never back down from a fight!
Inara: Yes you do! You do it all the time!

[While fencing]
Inara: How did I avoid that?
Mal: By being fast like a freak?

Sir Harrow: You didn't have to wound that man.
Mal: Yeah, I know, it was just funny.

Jayne: [into radio] Testing. Captain, can you hear me? 
Mal: I'm standing right here. 
Jayne: [into radio] You're coming in good and loud, too. 
Mal: 'Cause I'm standing right here. 

"You know what the chain of command is? It's the chain I go get and beat 
 you with 'til you understand who's in ruttin' command here."
					-Jayne

Book: That young man's very brave. 
Mal: Yeah. He's my hero. 

Inara: What did I tell you about barging into my shuttle? 
Mal: That it was manly and impulsive? 
Inara: Yes, exactly, only the exact phrase I used was "don't". 

"What the hell's going on in the engine room? Were there monkeys? Some 
 terrifying space monkeys maybe got loose?"
					-Mal

[playing with dinosaur toys] 
"'Yes...this is a fertile land, and we will thrive. We will rule over all 
 this land, and we will call it... this land.' 'I think we should call it 
 your grave!' 'Ah! Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!' 'Hahaha! 
 Mine is an evil laugh!'"
					-Wash

"They'll rape us to death, eat our flesh and sew our skin to their 
 clothes. And if we're very, very lucky, they'll do it in that order."
					-Zoe

"If you take sexual advantage of her, you're going to burn in a very  
 special level of Hell, a level they reserve for child molesters and 
 people who talk at the theater."
					-Book

"Oh, don't worry honey, he makes everybody cry. He's like a monster."
					-Kaylee

Zoë: Next time we smuggle stock, let's make it something smaller. 
Wash: Yeah, we should start dealing in those black market beagles. 

Zoë: Captain'll come up with a plan. 
Kaylee: Well, that's good ... right? 
Zoë: Possibly you're not recalling some of his previous plans. 

Mal: Appears we got here just in the nick of time! What does that make us? 
Zoë: Big damn heroes, sir! 

[flipping through Simon's journal] 
"Dear diary: Today I was pompous and my sister was crazy. ... Today we 
 were kidnapped by hill folk, never to be seen again. It was the best day 
 ever." 
					-Jayne

Wash: So ... two days in a hospital. That's awful. Don't you just hate 
        doctors? 
Simon: Hey! 
Wash: I mean, present company excluded. 
Jayne: Let's not be excluding people. That'd be rude. 

Zoë: Shepard, isn't the Bible kind of specific about killing? 
Book: Very specific. It is, however, somewhat fuzzy around the area of 
        kneecaps. 

"No power in the 'verse can stop me."
					-River

Mal: I know it's a difficult mission, but you and I have to get it on. 
Zoë: I understand. We have no choice. Take me sir. Take me hard. 
[walking in]
Jayne: Now somethin' about that is just downright unsettlin'. 

Zoë: I think this is something that the captain needs to do for himself... 
Mal: No, it isn't! No, it isn't! 

Simon: I've never shot anyone before. 
Book: I was there, son. I'm fair sure you haven't shot anyone yet. 

"Ah, the pitter-patter of little feet in combat boots... SHUT UP!"
						-Mal

Page by: Paul M. M. Jacobus (paul@otd.com)
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