Quote-o-rama: Misc 10


Quote-o-rama:
The Tenth Miscellaneous File



"I do not want to see the legacy of Thomas Jefferson and James Madison
 revised by President Bush under pressure from Pat Robertson and Jerry
 Falwell."
					-Rev. Barry Lynn, executive director
					of Americans for the Separation 
					of Church and State

"You will never 'find' time for anything. If you want time you must make
 it."
					-Charles Buxton

"We shall seek the truth and endure the consequences."
					-Charles Seymour

"Quemadnowm gladius neminem occidit, occidentis telum est."
 [A sword is never a killer, it is but a tool in the killer's hands.]
					-Lucius Annaeus Seneca 4 BC-65 AD

"They're putting Clark on the crisis hotline? Hasn't anybody noticed that
 anybody who has a chance meeting with Clark tends to end up dead or in an
 asylum?"
					-TelevisionWithoutPity.com, 
					on _Smallville_

"It is the characteristic of the most stringent censorships that they give 
 credibility to the opinions they attack."
					-Voltaire

"Math would never do that to you. Math is a romantic." 
					-Clango, DieselSweeties.com

"This week, the CIA announced that they've asked 'Alias' star Jennifer
 Garner to tape a CIA recruitment video, which is fine but they also asked
 Jerry Orbach to look for Osama bin Laden."
					-Conan O'Brien

"It is not the 'Ben Stiller, I made a mistake and now everyone has to pay'
 awards."
					-Owen Wilson, Academy Awards 2004

"We cannot change anything unless we accept it. Condemnation does not
 liberate, it oppresses."
					-Carl Gustav Jung

"My God I've missed Rock. The only bad thing about him showing up is that
 he is so far beyond what anyone else is on the roster in terms of flat 
 out charisma that when he's around everyone else looks like tenth rate.
 Especially a guy like Randy Orton, that they want to pattern him after -
 when Rock's around, you just see how he simply doesn't compare in any 
 way, shape, or form, and that he'll never be anything more than a two-bit
 imitation. THAT's why it's so important for them to come up with unique
 personas instead of duplicating what has worked in the past."
					-"the Real Deal" RD Reynolds, 
					WrestleCrap.com

"Time cools, time clarifies; no mood can be maintained quite unaltered
 through the course of hours."
					-Thomas Mann

"Modo et modo non habebant modum." 
(By and by never comes.)
					-St. Augustine

"A new poll says that if the election were held today, both John Kerry and
 John Edwards would beat President Bush by double digit margins. The White 
 House is so worried about this, they're now thinking of moving up the
 capture of Osama Bin Laden to next month."
					-Jay Leno

"Nothing is so useless as a general maxim."
					-Thomas Macaulay

"The readings of history and anthropology in general give us no reason to 
 believe that societies have built-in self-preservative systems. And 
 therefore we can't say that man will be sensible enough not to destroy 
 himself."
					-Margaret Mead

"Fear cannot be without hope nor hope without fear."
					-Baruch Spinoza

"They're saying in the paper today that Dean could go back to Vermont and
 become a doctor again. See, this is where I worry that President Bush
 maybe doesn't understand a lot of the issues. See, today, they told
 President Bush that Dean may go work for an HMO and he said, 'As long as
 he doesn't marry one.'"
					-Jay Leno

"As scarce as truth is, the supply is always greater than the demand."
					-Josh Billing

"Clark gives Pete props for spending so much time volunteering at the 
 youth center. Pete's a righteous man. Well, what else was he going to do 
 every week after his lines were up?"
					-TelevisionWithoutPity.com, 
					on _Smallville_

"The lesson of history is rarely learned by the actors themselves."
					-President James A. Garfield

"One should respect public opinion insofar as is necessary to avoid 
 starvation and to keep out of prison, but anything that goes beyond this 
 is voluntary submission to an unnecessary tyranny, and is likely to 
 interfere with happiness in all kinds of ways."
					-Bertrand Russell

Maura: Smoking does *not* make you any cooler! Real coolness comes from
	the heart.
Lil' Sis: Maybe - but isn't a diseased heart a lot more "punk rock" than a
	healthy one?
					-DieselSweeties.com

"It is only the poor who are forbidden to beg."
					-Anatole France

"Life has taught me to think, but thinking has not taught me how to live."
					-Alexander Herzen

"It's the white greasepaint that really makes a clown terrifying. It's bad
 enough having some random guy in a fright wig telling you knock-knock
 jokes, but when he has the pallor of the grave about him it loads the
 whole thing on the ferry to West Nightmarish. Somehow even a spinning bow
 tie and a plaid vest seem macabre when in close proximity to the Leering 
 Death Mask of Frivolity."
					-Lore, BookOfRatings.com 

"Education is hanging around until you've caught on."
					-Robert Frost

"Hip-hop is not just penetrating the mainstream, it's becoming the new
 mainstream, and that can be harnessed to some extent."
					-Ben Chavis, HSAN

"There is nothing so powerful as the truth, and nothing so strange."
					-Daniel Webster

"I'm not sure what I'd rather lick, but it's not *that.*"
					-Steph H.

"We had better live as we think, otherwise we shall end up by thinking as
 we have lived."
					-Paul Bourget

"This has been a strong year for us. The response has been strong. The
 demos have been strong. We all feel really good. As for stories, I don't
 think we'll ever run out of stories to tell about these people. They're
 constantly changing. They're constantly shifting their alliances. And
 there's so much to say on the subject. Any good show is ultimately about
 people and people are endlessly fascinating."
					-Joss Whedon, one week before
					the surprise cancellation of _Angel_

"My experience of the world is that things left to themselves don't get
 right."
					-T.H. Huxley

"The greater the number of laws and enactments, the more thieves and
 robbers there will be."
                                        -Lao-tzu

"President Bush is now on the campaign trail more and more. He's going out
 there and meeting the people. Most Republicans say that they want to see
 him serve four more years. The National Guard said 'Hey we'd like to see
 him serve his last 2 years.'"
					-Jay Leno   

"You just ruined my fantasy crush."
					-Clango, DieselSweeties.com

"If there is no knowledge, there is no understanding; if there is no   
 understanding, there is no knowledge."
					-the Talmud

"Alex Rodriguez is the highest paid player in baseball, $252 million.
 That's amazing, I'm telling you, that kind of money could buy us another
 day in Iraq. But I'll tell you, I think it's refreshing. I think it's 
 nice to hear about a $252 million contract that doesn't involve 
 Halliburton, don't you?"
					-David Letterman

"I guess we should be glad baggy pants are the clown standard. It would 
 not improve what little amusement is to be found in the timeworn clown 
 repertoire to be able to make out the countours of individual clown 
 testicles. It would be distracting at best, and more likely 
 psychologically scarring."
					-Lore, BookOfRatings.com

"Sometimes the flashing sign on someone's head that says BAD IDEA just
 turns into mood lighting for hot sex."
                                        -Angela S.

"I've mentioned this before - all kids had the intense desire to ruin
 their toys in progressively stranger ways once they got tired of 'em. It
 wasn't an intentional thing, it was almost always subconscious. It's like
 we have this innate unspoken desire to oust the old and usher in the new,
 and to do this, we've got to kill our older toys in any way we can."
					-Matt, x-entertainment.com

"I dislike arguments of any kind. They are always vulgar, and often
 convincing."
					-Oscar Wilde

"Pete, I need your expert opinion as a promiscuous jerk."
					-DieselSweeties.com

"Here now is my favorite story of the week, rumor that President Bush had
 a nose job. He had some sort of plastic surgery and had a nose job. If
 this is true, it would be the first new job he's created since he's taken
 office."
					-David Letterman

"An explanation of cause is not a justification by reason."
					-C.S. Lewis

"It sucks when you go out of your way to defame someone, and they don't
 have the common deceny to threaten legal action."
					-penny-arcade.com

"Men are more often bribed by their loyalties and ambitions than by 
 money."
					-Justice Robert H. Jackson

"See, free nations do not develop weapons of mass destruction."
					-George W. Bush, Oct. 8, 2003

"Due to budget crunches, Bush has had to scale some of the programs. He
 has a new program, 'Leave A Couple of Kids Behind.'"
					-David Letterman

"Half the Harm that is done in this world is due to people who want to
 feel important. They don't mean to do harm - but the harm does not   
 interest them. Or they do not see it, or they justify it because they are
 absorbed in the endless struggle to think well of themselves."
					-T. S. Elliot

"A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes
 longer."
					-Ralph Waldo Emerson

"I never thought I'd reach the point in my life where I'd be saying, 'Boy,
 I hope this video has women dressed up as crocodiles and dingos in it.'"  
					-Lore, BookOfRatings.com

"Just because you're a four-armed duck with a drug problem doesn't mean   
 you have to be so negative."
					-Matt, x-entertainment.com  

"Let's play Indie Hipster Kryptonite Deathtrap!"
					-DieselSweeties.com

"I thought that if a show was really good and doing really well (in the 
 ratings), it was renewed. I was apparently misinformed. ... I do 
 understand the business of it. But to me, when they're scrambling to hold
 on to their audience, their revenue, their dignity, it doesn't seem the
 best decision. And it's certainly not the classiest."
					-Joss Whedon

"...I'd be more willing to let [Angel] go if WB had shown any ability over
 the last few years to come up with something that would do better or be 
 half as good. But here's what really has me worried: the creativity drain 
 that seems to have struck network television..."
					-TV critic Robert Bianco

"People who never get carried away should be."
					-Malcolm S. Forbes

PeeJee: I feel a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices
	cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.
Davan: Fuck you! If you think you can bake a better chocolate cheesecake,
	fucking do it and quit bitching!
					SomethingPositive.com

"There is no grief which time does not lessen and soften."
					-Cicero

"Plus, as was the case with every new He-Man figure, their biggest selling
 point was the rush kids would get when they smelled that fresh plastic
 after opening the package. It was like drugs for us. Every time I landed 
 a new He-Man toy, I wasn't sure what to do first - play with it, or put 
 the figure in a little paper bag, sit in a dark closet, and smell the 
 shit out of it till I was high. I love toys that give you options."
					-Matt, x-entertainment.com

"Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's
 last romance."
					-Oscar Wilde

"Think wrongly if you please, but in all cases, think for yourself."
					-Gotthold Lessing

"Like something in a B-horror flick, Janet Jackson's radioactive right
 breast has morphed into the monster that's eating Hollywood."
					-Lisa de Moraes, 
					WashingtonPost.com

"Here's the funny thing about a cultural revolution: There's no 
 intermission to hail its arrival.  It would have been perfectly 
 reasonable for Ed Sullivan to return after the commercial break (for 
 Anacin pain reliever) and announce 'the world just changed, and everyone 
 but the Beatles has the night off.'"
					-David Segal, WashingtonPost.com

"Hatred comes from the heart; contempt from the head; and neither
 feeling is quite within our control."
					-Arthur Schopenhauer

Lil' Sis: You go lurk behind a mailbox.
Red Robot: I am ten ninjas.
					-DieselSweeties.com

"Politics in America is the binding secular religion."
					-Theodore H. White

"Because the proposed law by its express terms forbids same-sex couples
 entry into civil marriage, it continues to relegate same-sex couples to a
 different status. The history of our nation has demonstrated that 
 separate is seldom, if ever, equal."
					-Chief Justice Margaret H. Marshall,
					Massachusetts Supreme Court

"He was an avalanche from an unexpected quarter. He was a thunderbolt from
 a clear sky."
					-Commisar Yarrick on Ghazhkull Thraka,
					Warhammer 40,000

"The moral of Vietnam was supposed to be that we would never again go to
 war without understanding the culture of our antagonists, or exaggerate
 their threat to us."
					-Maureen Dowd, NYTimes.com

"There's many a mistake made on purpose."
					-Thomas Haliburton

"A man who is good enough to shed his blood for his country is good enough
to be given a square deal afterwards. More than that no man is entitled   
to, and less than that no man shall have."
					-President Theodore Roosevelt

"Republicans always say, 'How dare Susan Sarandon and Martin Sheen get
 involved in politics!' Then Arnold showed up and it was, 'Oooh! Arnold's
 running! Oooh! The Terminator!'"
					-Al Franken

"Mediocrity can talk; but it is for genius to observe."
					-Benjamin Disraeli

"If I have any advice to give you, it's just enjoy your time here in
 school. Enjoy it. This is it. It doesn't get any better. Even when you 
 get a really great job. This is it. This is when you're allowed the time, 
 and the reason you're allowed the time is to pursue your dreams. The only
 other thing I think is equivalent is when you're 3 at Disney World and
 they push you around in a little whale."
					-Lewis Black

"I do not know which makes a man more conservative--to know nothing but
 the present, or nothing but the past."
					-John Maynard Keynes

"Love is as strong as death; jealousy is as cruel as the grave."
					-the Song of Solomon, 8:6

"President Bush announced a billion dollar mission to the moon and Mars.
 He came up with a snappy new slogan - to drill where no man has drilled
 before."
					-Craig Kilborn

"We are about to embark on what is arguably the coolest geologic field
 trip in history."
					-Dr. Steven W. Squyres, 2004,
					NASA Mars mission 
					principal science investigator

"The only people who attain power are those who crave it."
                                        -Erich Kastner

1/21/04
11:02:13 Dayv: Oh, by the way.
11:02:28 Dayv: The words that should never be used togather has been 
	updated.
11:03:03 Dayv: 4. autopsy bukkake

"Many excellent words are ruined by too definite a knowledge of their 
 meaning."
					-Aline Kilmer

"NASA has gotten together with the Lego company to produce the Lego model
 of the Mars rover. I think it's a great way for kids to understand why   
 they don't have healthcare."
					-Craig Kilborn

"Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy."
					-Edgar Bergen

"President Bush announced we're going to Mars, which means he's given up
 on Earth."
					-Jon Stewart

"I was totally gonna kill this guy but I didn't. I was gonna go back in
 time and tear his great-grandfather's leg off! And the pow! I'd come back
 and the past would haunt him upside the head with a pair of work boots!"
					-Red Robot, DieselSweeties.com

"Make no mistake; President Bush is serious about the deficit."
					-Treasury Secretary John Snow

"John Kerry's victory over Howard Dean has completely changed the
 presidential race around. Now instead of the rich white guy from Yale who
 lives in the White house facing off against the rich white guy from Yale
 who lives in Vermont, he may have to face the rich white guy from Yale 
 who lives in Massachusetts. It's a whole different game."
					-Jay Leno

"In some sort of crude sense which no vulgarity, no humor, no
 overstatement can quite extinguish, the physicists have known sin; and
 this is a knowledge which they cannot lose."
					-J. Robert Oppenheimer

"The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all your time."
					-Willem de Kooning

"I'm going to find religion just so I can pray against each of you."
					-Aubrey, SomethingPositive.net

"Statesmen think they make history; but history makes itself and drags
the statesmen along."
					-Will Rogers

"Some people are so afraid of cats that they can't even read about them.
 You silly people! How can you resist the darling slits of their greenish,
 alien eyes? How can you deprive yourselves of the incessant kneading of  
 their razor-sharp, blood-drawing claws? How can you turn away from the   
 unearthly throb of the purr exuding from deep within their soulless,     
 carnivorous little bodies? They're gentle friends until the day they     
 suffocate you in your sleep."
					-Lore, BookOfRatings.com

"I am a believer in punctuality, though it makes me very lonely."
					-E.V. Lucas

"Do not look back. And do not dream about the future, either. It will
 neither give you back the past, nor satisfy your other daydreams. Your   
 duty, your reward - your destiny - are here and now."
					-Dag Hammarskjold

"We are healed of a suffering only by experiencing it to the full."
					-Marcel Proust

"I am always ready to learn, but I do not always like to be taught."
					-Winston Churchill

"Gene [Weingarten] is referring here to the fact that, at the end of his
 chat last Tuesday, he was describing some symptoms, and one of them was
 'sores,' which Gene meant to describe as 'sores that are oozing pus,'
 except that, as a journalist trained to use words economically, he made
 'oozing with pus' into the adjective 'pussy,' which looked PRETTY DARNED
 FUNNY modifying 'sores,' in the sense that EVERYBODY read it obscenely
 the first time. So, definitely, Gene, you should be fired."
					-Dave Barry, WashingtonPost.com

"Every man is dangerous who only cares for one thing."
					-G.K. Chesterton

"You don't have to be insane to adhere to an apocalyptic ideology centered
on extraterrestrial visitation. You just have to be wrong."
                                        - Joel Achenbach   

"The reputation of power IS power."
					-Thomas Hobbes

"What intellectual snobs we have become! Virtue is now in the number of
 degrees you have - not in the kind of person you are or what you can
 accomplish in real-life situations."
					-Eda J. LeShan

"Who is this that darkeneth counsel by words without knowledge?"
					-Job 38.2

"If all mankind minus one, were of one opinion, and only one person were
 of the contrary opinion, mankind would be no more justified in silencing
 that one person, than he, if he had the power, would be justified in
 silencing mankind."
					-John Stuart Mill

Reader: You ruined Star Wars Episode I for me, you idiot. Thanks a lot.
Dave Barry: It was my pleasure! Although, to be fair, the credit really
	belongs to Mr. Lucas.
					-WashingtonPost.com

"Other animals could have secret talents, like tigers might be good with
 banjos."
					-Eddie Izzard, "Circle"

"When you betray somebody else, you also betray yourself."
					-Isaac Bashevis Singer

"This is the year the Internet officially stopped being fun."
					-Rob Pergoraro, 2003,
					 WashingtonPost.com

"I read the Book of Job last night - I don't think God comes well out of
 it."
					-Virginia Woolf

"Second prize contains whiskey. I am going to go win it in my room."
					-DieselSweeties.com

"Is a metrosexual someone who has sex on the subway? Somehow I knew this
 could not be the case -- you can't even eat on the Washington Metro..." 
					-Richard Cohen, WashingtonPost.com

"If the Broadway sound were the pop music of the day, which it used to
 be, it would sound like hip-hop, but I don't think anyone feels there's
 much of a Broadway audience for that at the moment."
					-Jack Viertel, NYTimes.com

"I've thought of an ending for my book... 'And he lived happily ever after
 to the end of his days.'"
                                        -Bilbo,
                                        _The Fellowship of the Ring_

"It was like the biggest independent movie ever made - with a red guy."
					-Guillermo del Toro, on _Hellboy_

Gabe: What if they give me a new baboon heart? I'm scared of baboons.
Tycho: You know, they bring the baboon right in there. You have to wrestle
	him for the heart. That's how it's done.
					-penny-arcade.com

"The times are not so bad as they seem; they couldn't be."
					-John Franklin Carter

"It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers."
                                        -James Thurber

"We seldom stop to think how many people's lives are entwined with our
 own. It is a form of selfishness to imagine that every individual can  
 operate on his own or can pull out of the general stream and not be
 missed."
                                        -Ivy Baker Priest

"You can love a person deeply and sincerely whom you do not like. You can 
 like a person passionately whom you do not love."
                                        -Robert Hugh Benson

Reader: I love your columns. Have you ever thought about making your life
	into a TV series?
Dave Barry: That has already been done. It was called "Baywatch."
					-WashingtonPost.com

"In a civilized society, why is there a need to put people to death?"
                                        -David Finkel,
                                        Washington Post article

"This new system of keeping things a secret by posting script pages on the
internet just isn't working out for us."
					-Drew Goddard, screenwriter

"Children are the true connoisseurs. What's precious to them has no price
 - only value."
                                        -Bel Kaufman

"[Anakin Skywalker] also sports a 1986-era, trailer-park-style rat-tail
 that stands as an enduring testament to just how out of touch George 
 Lucas is with the rest of the world."
					-theOnionAVClub.com

"A definition is no proof."
					-William Pinkney

"Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a
 garage makes you an automobile."
                                        -William Ashley "Billy" Sunday

"Real animals aren't made of ice cream."
					-CatAndGirl.com

"(You know you're a freak when you're a bit too weird for a gay sex
 cannibal.)"
					-Dan Savage

"I am told that Elvis patterned the jumpsuit-and-glitter look of this
 later years after the comic book character Captain Marvel, making him the
 most popular superhero-based rock star if we ignore Madonna's short-lived
 Iron Man phase. He also managed to pioneer the practice of throwing
 sweat-soaked articles of clothing at adoring women, something that 
 doesn't work as often as you'd like, and doesn't work on librarians at 
 all."
					-Lore, BookOfRatings.com

"I want to make this _The Last Emperor_ of cheesey monster movies."
					Guillermo del Toro,
					to Mike Mignola,   
					discussing _Hellboy_

"The life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story,
 and writes another."
                                        -James Matthew Barrie

"Those people who say they want to make jihad against the United States or
Israel, what they did is pointless. Jihad is not like this."
					-Abdullah Al-Blehed, 
					whose son was killed 
					in a bombing in Riyadh

"Man alone can enslave man."            
                                        -Simone Weil

"Meanwhile, Tim Hasselbeck had a 0.0 quarterback rating, tying a record 
 that can never be broken. It's not like the SAT. You don't get points for 
 signing your name."
					-Thomas Boswell, 
					 WashingtonPost.com

"Better by far you should forget and smile, than that you should remember
 and be sad."
                                        -Christina Rosetti

"But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall 
 mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they 
 shallwalk, and not faint."
					-Isaiah 40:31

"You cannot ignore that the American dream has been the dream of all
 people in the Third World. You live it. But for us it's still a dream.
 And that's a shock for those who dream."
                                        -Ra'afat El Meehy,
                                        Egyptian writer and director

Interviewer: A glance at your website reveals you two as terrible human
	beings. What sins is this "charity" of yours meant to absolve?
Tycho: Me? I flipped off a box of kittens.
Gabe: I did punch a baby once... in anger. In my defense, they baby was
	being kind of a dick.
Tycho: Yeah, I don't know what that baby's problem was.
					-penny-arcade.com

"I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the 
 great ordeal of meeting me is another matter."
					-Sir Winston Churchill

"The most persistent threat to freedom, to the rights of Americans, is
 fear."
                                        -George Meany

"Democracies can be worse than autocracies. To be poor in democratic
 Mexico or Brazil is certainly worse than to be unrepresented in Cuba or
 Saudi Arabia. We should know better than to put much stock in the form of
 government. That it is necessary even to say this shows how tightly we 
 are in the grip of a clichéd ideology."
					-Prof. Michael Neumann

"Patrick Ramsey's been sacked more times than a can of chicken soup on
 special at Safeway."
					-Sally Jenkins

"The people who think they are happy should rummage through their dreams."
                                        -Edward Dahlberg

"The most important aspect of our policy must be our ever-present,
 manifest desire to institute complete equality for the Arab citizens
 living in our midst."
                                        -Einstein, 1955, on the creation
                                        of a Jewish state in Palestine

"Richard Donner directs, but it's the lazy director of _Lethal Weapon 4_
 who shows up, and not the craftsman of _Superman_ or even _Lethal Weapon
 2_. Until _Timeline_ reaches its flaming-trebuchet-siege finale - which 
 should impress anyone who's never seen The Two Towers - it has the
 stirring production values of an episode of the Tia Carrere action series
 _Relic Hunter_, but with only a fraction of the acting talent and
 intellectual heft."
					-Keith Phipps, theonionavclub.com 

"Robert, you are so wrong, philosophers weep at the sound of your voice."
					-Buck, _Get Fuzzy_

"When you fail to see something, that doesn't mean I'm hiding it."
					-Carolyn Hax

"It's interesting how many things we like to have around as holiday 
 symbols, but hate when we have to clear them off our driveway - leaves, 
 snow, leprechauns..."
					-Lore, bookofratings.com

"Ghosts lookin' at me naked seems worse now it is a rational fear."
					-scarygoround.com

"A straight line is the shortest in morals as in mathematics."
					-Maria Edgeworth

"The theological problem today is to find the art of drawing religion out 
 of a man, not pumping it into him."
					-Rev. Karl Rahner

"The American Revolution was a beginning, not a consummation."
					-Woodrow Wilson

"Frailty, thy name is no longer woman."
					-Victor Riesel

"Nintendo turned me into an evil, occult Pokémon character. Nintendo stole
 my identity by using my name and my signature image."
					-Uri Geller

"Real education should educate us out of self into something far finer - 
 into selflessness which links us with all humanity."
					-Viscountess Nancy Astor

"Our ignorance of history causes us to slander our own times."
					-Gustave Flaubert

"Americans are benevolently ignorant about Canada, while Canadians are
 malevolently well-informed about the United States."
					-J. Bartlet Brebner

Samwise: But who will guide us?
Frodo: How about a reptilian computer-generated creature with a bad
	combover?
Samwise: Dick Cheney's in this movie?
					-Dave Barry, WashingtonPost.com

"Children are God's spies."
					-Elizabeth Bowen

"Great events make me quiet and calm; it is only trifles that irritate
 my nerves."
					-Queen Victoria

"In music one must think with the heart and feel with the brain."
					-George Szell

"It's not about an opening weekend. It's about a career, building a set of
 films you're proud of. Period."
					-George Clooney

"Two wrongs don't make a right... but it makes things even."
                                        -Lana Drakes

"The great temptation is to have an alibi."
					-George Abbott

"You have to look at history as an evolution of society."
					-Jean Chretien

"Yes, it's emasculating to be laid low by a rabbit. Paying ten dollars a
 month to experience it implies that I am managing some kind of
 self-esteem deficit."
					-Tycho, penny-arcade.com

"Love is more just than justice."
                                        -Henry Ward Beecher

"If knowledge can create problems, it is not through ignorance that we can
 solve them."
                                        -Isaac Asimov

"Old age is the most unexpected of all the things that happen to a man."
                                        -Leon Trotsky

"I did it! I can will people to die! I finally got my seventh birthday 
 wish!"
					-Aubrey, somethingpositive.net

"Don't be humble; you're not that great."
					-Golda Meir

"The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men
 of zeal, well-meaning but without understanding."
                                        -Justice Louis D. Brandeis

"A boy becomes an adult three years before his parents think he does, and 
 about two years after he thinks he does."
					-Gen. Lewis B. Hershey

"You can't beat your enemy anymore through wars; instead you create an
 entire generation of people revenge-seeking. These days it only matters
 who's in charge. Right now that's us - for a while at least. Our 
 opponents are going to resort to car bombs and suicide attacks because
 they have no other way to win. ...I believe [Rumsfeld] thinks this is a
 war that can be won, but there is no such thing anymore. We can't beat
 anyone anymore."
					-George Clooney, 2003,
					 on the Iraq War

"Success is a public affair. Failure is a private funeral."
					-Rosalind Russell

"It is amazing how complete is the delusion that beauty is goodness."
					-Leo Tolstoy

"Quiero hacer contigo/lo que la primavera/hace con los cerezos"
(I want to do with you/what the spring does/with the cherry trees.)
					-Pablo Neruda

"What is history but a fable agreed upon?"
					-Napoleon

"People who bite the hand that feeds them usually lick the boot that kicks 
 them."
					-Eric Hoffer

"Understanding is often a prelude to forgiveness, but they are not the
 same, and we often forgive what we cannot understand (seeing nothing else
 to do) and understand what we cannot pardon."
					-Mary McCarthy

"A community is like a ship; everyone ought to be prepared to take the 
 helm."
					-Henrik Ibsen

"...but I think the Internet is beyond important in terms of fans
 communing, becoming a community and growing. People writing each other   
 and writing fiction, and writing, well, porn. All of these things that do
 what I always wanted Buffy to do, which was exist outside of the TV show.
 Enter people's own personal ethos. The Internet has been a big part in
 how that has happened."
					-Joss Whedon, FilmForce interview

"The harder I work, the luckier I get."
					-George Allen

"Man must not allow the clock and the calendar to blind him to the fact
 that each moment of his life is a miracle and a mystery."
                                        -H. G. Wells

"I could go on, but I think I've made my point. I was keeping notes of
 questions I had, sections of the rules that were vague, errors, and goofy
 rules as I read the book. I gave up after the list hit 51."
					-Buzz, RPG.net

"A man can build a staunch reputation for honesty by admitting he was in
 error, especially when he gets caught at it."
					-Robert Ruark

"That the end of life should be death may sound sad; yet what other end
 can anything have?"
                                        -George Santayana

"The best advisers always are not those who tell us how to act in special
 cases, but who give us, out of themselves, the ardent spirit and desire
 to act right, and leave us then, even through many blunders, to find what
 our own form of right action is."
                                        -Philip Brooks

"There's got to be somebody out there who still enjoys Tombs and the
 Raiding thereof."
					penny-arcade.com

"There's much to be said for challenging fate instead of ducking behind  
 it."
                                        -Diana Trilling

"So, here's what George W. Bush can't find: The White House leak, the
 weapons of mass destruction, Saddam Hussein, Osama Bin Laden, a
 connection between Saddam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden, the dude who
 mailed the anthrax and his ass with both hands and a flashlight."  
					-Tina Fey, _Saturday Night Live_

"The art of progress is to preserve order amid change and to preserve
 change amid order."
					-Alfred North Whitehead

"Those who nobly set out to be their brother's keeper sometimes end up by
 becoming his jailer. Every emancipation has in it the seeds of a new
 slavery, and every truth easily becomes a lie."
					-I.F. Stone

"People just assume I've done martial arts my whole life. I did nothing my
 whole life. I ate, hung out and played handball."
					-Lucy Liu

"Hope is a waking dream."               
                                        -Aristotle

"Bush told his senior aides Tuesday that he 'didn't want to see any
 stories' quoting unnamed administration officials in the media anymore,
 and that if he did, there would be consequences, said a senior
 administration official who asked that his name not be used."
					-The Philadelphia Inquirer

"That's a shame for Sting, 'cause if you go to the hospital in this town
 with a bad leg, they shoot you."
					-Bobby "The Brain" Heenan

"Because John Ashcroft touts the Patriot Act around the country does not 
 mean John Ashcroft is a patriot. That American flag over there belongs to 
 every American - not only to John Ashcroft, Rush Limbaugh, Jerry Falwell 
 and Pat Robertson."
					-Howard Dean

Cat: It has a few flaws.
Girl: I would say that your plan is mostly made of flaws.
					_www.catandgirl.com_

"The best thing I did was abuse myself when younger - I dabbled in 
 everything, cocaine, booze, women - because now I don't have to do it 
 anymore." 
					-Malcolm McDowell

"Monopolies damage religion. In a free market, people get more interested
in the product. It's true for religion just as it's true for cars."
					-Massimo Introvigne

"None of our best behavior is really that good."
					-Joss Whedon, FilmForce interview

"Barroom brawl analogy: Khador is the big guy who takes a lickin' & keeps 
 on tickin'. Menoth is the guy who gets frothing mad and goes all-out. 
 Cygnar is the guy who keeps his cool and fights fairly. Cryx is the 
 little guy who tries to kick his opponent in the balls and make off with 
 his wallet."
					-biccat, 
					http://www.privateerpress.com/forums/

"The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents and the second half
 by our children."
					-Clarence Darrow

"I just felt like there was something otherworldly about being an actress.
 When you're younger and you don't feel like you quite fit in anywhere, 
 you think there must be a community of misfits out there that you can 
 fall into."
					-Lucy Liu

"We need to engage in the outside world. We have a tendency to see
 ourselves very far removed. We need to escape this, for if we try to run,
 it will catch up to us.... The idea that we can stay in this country and  
 be largely immune from the forces raging in other countries is wrong. We
 in the U.S. should be very careful about overseas engagements, but the
 danger for a great power is not only imperial overstretch but imperial
 understretch. We've become very inward looking while the rest of the 
 world has become very outward looking."
					-Nicholas Kristof

"If 50 million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." 
					-Anatole France

"Religion is love; in no case is it logic."
                                        -Beatrice Potter Webb

"There is nothing harder than the softness of indifference."
					-Juan Montalvo

"I got a map of Easter Island on my back. And I have the full menu from
 Napoleone's Pizza House on my stomach. After a while, they dispensed with
 the menus: They'd send me out, and I'd take my shirt off and stand by the
 tables."
					-Tom Waits

"Once you wrestle Rikki Atakki, an hour later you want to wrestle him
 again."
					-Bobby "The Brain" Heenan

"The most important thing is for us to find Osama Bin Laden. It is our 
 number one priority and we will not rest until he find him."
					-George W. Bush, September 13, 2001

"I don't know where he is. I have no idea and I really don't care. It's 
 not that important. It's not our priority."
					-George W. Bush, March 13, 2002

"The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. The opposite of art
 is not ugliness, it's indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, 
 it's indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it's
 indifference."
					-Elie Wiesel

"I have three phobias which, could I mute them, would make my life as
 slick as a sonnet, but as dull as ditch water: I hate to go to bed, I
 hate to get up, and I hate to be alone."
                                        -Tallulah Bankhead

"America is a land where a citizen will cross the ocean to fight for
 democracy - and won't cross the street to vote in a national election."
					-Bill Vaughan

"Dare to be naive."
					-R. Buckminster Fuller

"Sure, we'll do all we can to defend ourselves against any threat, nobody
 denies that, but even the Joint Chiefs says that a strategic nuclear
 attack is less likely than a regional conflict, a major theater war,
 terrorist attacks at home or abroad, or any number of other real issues.
 We'll have diverted all that money to address the least likely threat,
 while the real threat comes to this country in the hold of a ship, the
 belly of a plane, or smuggled into a city in the middle of the night in a
 vial in a backpack."
					-Sen. Joe Biden, 
					National Press Club speech, 
					10 Sept 2001

"To write or to speak is almost inevitably to lie a little. It is an
 attempt to clothe an intangible in a tangible form; to compress an
 immeasurable into a mold. And in the act of compression, how Truth is
 mangled and torn!"
					-Anne Morrow Lindbergh

"You may wanna wait until you see the piss-poor job I'm doing before you
 thank me."
					-PeeJee, somethingpositive.com

"Freedom of speech and freedom of action are meaningless without freedom
 to think. And there is no freedom of thought without doubt."
                                        -Bergen Baldwin Evans

"The two things that scare me most about wrestling fans is that they're
 allowed to vote and allowed to reproduce."
					-Bobby "The Brain" Heenan

"The Internet, you know... The bitch goddess that I love and worship and
 hate... Apparently, the chain is only as strong as - well, that weak link
 that's me. It's not respect for the chain of command, it's respect for
 storytelling. People just don't have it. But you know what? Not everybody
 reads spoilers, not everybody lives that way. Those are the people that
 really love the show. I cannot conceive of a person who wants to know
 what happens. People who turn to the last page of a book - what universe
 did they come from? I don't understand it. That drives me crazy..."
					-Joss Whedon, FilmForce interview

"My feeling is that there is nothing in life but refraining from hurting
 others, and comforting those that are sad."
                                        -Olive Schreiner

"It's a little sobering. When you're training for this, you joke about,
 you can't wait for the real thing. Then when you see it, when you see the
 real thing, you never want to see it again."
					-Captain Sal Aguilar, 
					after a battle near Baghdad, '03

"No good opera plot can be sensible, for people do not sing when they are
 feeling sensible."
                                        -W.H. Auden

"The self-hatred that destroys is the waste of unfulfilled promise."
                                        -Moss Hart


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