Quote-o-rama:
The Eleventh Miscellaneous File

"The problem for the United States is the disconnect between this
 self-image and the way the rest of the world feels about us. 
 Increasingly, people in other countries don't see America as that beacon 
 of idealism but as something menacing. We can think they're wrong and we 
 can choose to ignore them, but unfortunately, that won't change the way 
 they feel."
					-David Ignatius, WashingtonPost.com

"The thinking that links unrelated events or movements into something
 called worldwide terrorism - this attempt to make events conform to
 rhetoric - is precisely what led the United States into the quagmire of
 Vietnam. Now, as then, we are being told that we were attacked or hated 
 or whatever because we are free. Not so. Americans died on Sept. 11 
 because of what Americans had done: established bases in Saudi Arabia and
 unambiguously supported Israel. It is the right thing to do, but it comes
 at a cost."
					-Richard Cohen, WashingtonPost.com

"The Republicans are in town this week. Don't worry, they will only be 
 here until we are capable of self-rule."
					-David Letterman

"Old TV shows recycled on DVDs are selling like iPods, proving among other
 things that television remains the most personal of "mass" media; people
 often buy those old shows not because the programs are great or even good
 but because they consider them to be part of the matrix of their lives.
 The quality of a program may be irrelevant."
					-Tom Shales, WashingtonPost.com

Clango: Do you hate all robots or is it just me?
Lil' Sis: It used to be just you, but I got a lot better at hating. I
	found my talent and just went with it, you know?
					-DieselSweeties.com

"Over 800,000 New Yorkers left during the convention. Boy, Bush really 
 knows how to clear a room, doesn't he? 800,000 people leave town because 
 of the Republican convention. They raise the terror alert in New York to 
 elevated, no New Yorkers leave. A threat by al Qaeda to destroy our 
 financial institution, New Yorkers stand firm. Republicans come to town 
 it's like, Get out of here."
					-Jay Leno

"Legend has it that if you fold a thousand paper cranes you will be
 granted your heart's desire, which I imagine at that point is to never
 see a goddamn paper crane again in your life. I think I've folded maybe
 three paper cranes in my life and already I'm sick of them. If I folded a
 thousand paper cranes I'd then have to fold a thousand paper wolverines
 to eat them. Then I'd pretend to be Canadian Godzilla and stomp the
 wolverines. Then I'd take a nap."
					-Lore, BookOfRatings.com
 
"This is just the kind of thing that fascinates historians, gang,
 something you may want to consider next time a historian asks you out for
 a date."
					-Cecil Adamns, StraightDope.com

"Have you folks been following the controversy with John Kerry and his 
 service in Vietnam and the Swift Boat campaign? It all took place in 
 Vietnam and now it just won't go away. I was thinking about this - if 
 John Kerry had just ducked the war like everybody else he wouldn't have 
 this trouble."
					-David Letterman

"Every day's a negotiation and sometimes it's done with guns."
					-Joss Whedon

"People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't
 what they want that they really don't want it."
					-Ogden Nash

"If it weren't for capital punishment, we wouldn't have Easter."
					-Bill Hicks

"I'm kind of a big whore for this market. I've never really had a movie
 that grossed more than thirty million bucks, so essentially I'm nothing
 more than a glorified straight-to-video filmmaker who gets a little bit 
 of a theatrical window, and that kind of ranks me right up there with 
 Shannon Tweed."
					-Kevin Smith, 2004

"This movie, like its title, feels like it was spat out by a computer.
 Computers are totally mocking us at this point. Once they beat us in
 chess, they lost all respect for us."
					-Fametracker.com

"Man's loneliness is but his fear of life."
					-Eugene O'Neill

Angela: I mean, is he getting paid for all the shit I do for free?
Fury: If you can call it "pay." It is Disney, after all. Cheapest studio
	in this and a few other universes.
					-interview from DavidFury.net

"No man can be a patriot on an empty stomach."
					-William Cowper

"Here's my message to everyone out there: I don't want you to kill 
 yourself. But if you're gonna kill someone else, kill yourself first." 
					-Adam Carolla, Loveline

"There are two cardinal sins from which all the others spring: impatience 
 and laziness."
					-Franz Kafka

"Frankly, if the president wins walking away with this, maybe the country
 is in a different place than where the moderate Republicans are. If he
 loses, it is an absolute validation of the fact that you cannot be a
 national party if you are excluding people."
					-Christie Whitman, 
					Republican activist

"The only thing we have to fear on this planet is man."
					-Carl Jung

"I wanted to play with that classic notion of the frontier: not the people
 who made history, but the people history stepped on - the people for whom 
 every act is the creation of civilization. Then again, there's also 
 gunfights and action."
					-Joss Whedon, on _Firefly_

"You can keep the things of bronze and stone and give me one man to 
 remember me just once a year."
					-Damon Runyan

"Every year, countless philosophy majors graduate from college, arguably
 even less employable than when they entered it. What happens to all these
 lost souls, who tend to be versed in Kant but hopelessly ill-prepared for
 real-world demands? The once-ubiquitous but thankfully thinning herd of
 Quentin Tarantino-inspired black comedies provides a surprising answer:
 Many seem to have entered into low-level criminal careers, which afford
 them plenty of downtime in which to ponder fate, destiny, and other
 weighty issues."
					-TheOnionAVClub.com

"To most of us the future seems unsure. But then it always has been; and 
 we who have seen great changes must have great hopes."
					-John Masefield

"If I were to wish for anything, I should not wish for wealth and power, 
 but for the passionate sense of the potential, for the eye which, ever 
 young and ardent, sees the possible. Pleasure disappoints, possibility 
 never."
					-Soren Kierkegaard

"One of the reasons I got into acting was because of Sesame Street."
					-Seth Green, on Conan O'Brian's show

"No man is happy without a delusion of some kind. Delusions are as 
 necessary to our happiness as realities."
					-Christian Nestell Bovee,

"This week, G.I. Joe celebrates his 40th birthday. And today, Republicans 
 questioned his military service"
					-Craig Kilborn

"Life has taught me that it is not for our faults that we are disliked and 
 even hated, but for our qualities."
					-Bernard Berenson

"I want to be the peace president."
					-President George W. Bush,
					7/20/2004

"Regrets are as personal as fingerprints."
					-Margaret Culkin Banning

"President Bush said yesterday it doesn't make any sense to raise taxes on
 the rich because rich people can figure out how to dodge taxes. Then Dick
 Cheney said 'Shut up! You're ruining everything.'"
					-Jay Leno

"Cats believe that people are filled with cat food. They're just waiting
 for the right moment to devour our crunchy, delicious centers!"
					-Indie Rock Pete, DieselSweeties.com

"No man remains quite what he was when he recognizes himself."
					-Thomas Mann

"President Bush officially made his nomination for Director of the CIA: 
 Republican Porter Goss from Florida, who is an ex-CIA agent himself. A 
 bad sign: The potential new head of the CIA said the nomination came as a 
 complete surprise."
					-Craig Kilborn

Special Celebrity Question from Big Hollywood Producer, Tim Minear: Fury,
	why are you so mean?
David Fury: Because cream puffs like Minear get crushed in this business.
	It takes someone really obnoxious and untalented to be as angry 
	as I.
...
Angela: Oh, speaking of acting, here's a question from Mutant Enemy
	President, Chris Buchanan: When did you realize that your acting 
	career was over?
Fury: I... I didn't until... that bastard Buchanan just said it. Damn you,
	Buchanan!! Damn you to Hell!!!
					-interview from DavidFury.net

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never 
 stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and 
 neither do we."
					-President George W. Bush, 8/5/2004

"Bush said he is working hard to cut off al Qaeda's finances and believe 
 me, he is the man to do it. He drove three companies into bankruptcy . 
 what's one more?"
					-Jay Leno

"This morning, prompted by increasing concerns about terrorism, oil prices 
 reached a record high as the cost of a barrel of crude is a whooping 
 $44.34. Wow, it seems shocking that a product of finite supply gets more 
 expensive the more we use it... Now the terror alert means higher oil 
 prices, which oddly enough means higher profits for oil companies giving 
 them more money to give to politicians whose policies may favor the oil 
 companies such as raising the terror alert level. As Simba once told us,
 it's the circle of life."
					-Jon Stewart

"How do you create a civilization? It's a personal process. Your ethics
 and moral structure are going to be tested. It's about life when it's
 hard, about how we live when we're on the edge."
					-Joss Whedon

"Bush and Kerry tried to plan their schedules so they're not in the same 
 place at the same time. A tradition they started during Vietnam."
					-Craig Kilborn

"Dick Cheney says that terrorists attacks are caused by the perception of 
 weakness and then he ran back to his under ground bunker in an 
 undisclosed location."
					-David Letterman

"But it must be frustrating, if one is an actor mature and gifted beyond
 his years, not to get offered any roles that aren't (a) sweet, gentle,
 sensitive loners or (b) total psychos. (Or, sometimes, guys who appear to
 be total psychos but are actually, deep down, sensitive and 
 misunderstood.) And here's why: most adolescent actors (or actors who 
 play adolescents) who are generically good-looking can't really act. Look 
 - really look - at any Paul Walker performance and you will see what we
 mean. Because they are attractive, they get to be in movies, but they
 don't ever get saddled with roles that are complex or challenging or
 require them to do much other than be easy-going or noble, and date the
 movie's leading lady."
					-Fametracker.com

"They've been having a lot of trouble in Illinois finding a Republican 
 candidate to go up against Barack Obama. Well I think they finally found 
 one in our own friend Alan Keyes, you know, the African-American 
 fire-brand conservative preacher. The only problem is Keyes lives in 
 Maryland... It's starting to look bad for Republicans. First they 
 couldn't find Osama bin Laden in Afghanistan, then they couldn't find 
 weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, and now they can't find a black 
 person in Chicago." 
					-Bill Maher

"Private opinion creates public opinion... That is why private opinion,
 and private behaviour, and private conversation are so terrifyingly
 important."
					-Jan Struther

"The Republicans keep telling us the Democrats are trying to divide the 
 country. Then the Democrats keep telling us the Republicans are trying to 
 divide the country. And the result, the country is divided. Nice work, 
 fellas! Hell of a job!"
					-Jay Leno

"I'm not getting Botox or a boob job. Hollywood is a very cosmetic city
 and people always commenting on looks can be overwhelming and wacky. But
 exercise and diet is a better option than surgery."
					-Eliza Dushku

"The issue of Kerry's military service has spawned a number of recent 
 news-like events which have led to Republican charges the decorated war 
 hero has something to hide. Because if there is one thing the Bush 
 administration will not tolerate, it is... other people's secrecy."
					-Jon Stewart

"CBS did not carry the convention last night. You know you're in trouble 
 when you're too dull for CBS."
					-David Letterman

"In America, the thing that creates and sustains celebrity, the thing that
 creates and sustains America, is the same thing -- it's hope. The 
 concept, however untrue it may be for some people, that all men are 
 created equal is some powerful [bleep]. And I think that's part of the 
 power of American celebrity. I think our culture thrives on that ability 
 to feel like you're nobody, you are nothing, you own nothing, and the 
 next day you could win the lottery, be on a reality TV show, and it's 
 something within your power, however realistic. You just have to see that 
 hope maintained through Paris Hilton."
					-Will Smith, 2004, 
					 WashingtonPost.com

"As the Democrats get revved up at their convention in Boston, President 
 Bush is fighting back the only way he knows how: by going on vacation! 
 Ah, it's nice to take a rest, replenish your supply of smirks. The 
 vacation was expected, because Bush traditionally takes a month off every 
 summer to relax and avoid reading National Security Warnings."
					-Craig Kilborn

scientician: The half life of nostalgia is rapidly decreasing!
Girl: All culture is moving faster.
Cat: Backwards or forwards?
Girl: Same thing.
					-CatAndGirl.com

"The great nations have always acted like gangsters, and the small nations
 like prostitutes."
					-Stanley Kubrick

"When I pitched the show, I said it was about nine people living in the
 blackness of space and seeing nine different things. That's what I'm
 fascinated by, how they all react. They must make decisions that are
 horrific to people who aren't fighting for their lives every day. It's
 about a group of people who are living hand-to-mouth, and are heroes,
 day-to-day."
					-Joss Whedon, on _Firefly_

"The selling point is nipples. The photos could be taken by the 
 resurrected corpse of Alfred Stieglitz and still the only two concerns of 
 the buyer would be "How many nipples are poking out?' and 'How far out do
 they poke?' The answers in this case are 'Two' and 'Not very.' I could
 have masturbated to them when I was thirteen, but at thirteen I could
 have, with a little work, masturbated to 'O Canada.' And I'm not even
 Canadian."
					-Lore, BookOfRatings.com

Maura: There are three flavors of Mountain Dew. There's gotta be at least
	six types of M+M's candy. There are *easily* nine varieties of 
	Coca-Cola. And there are only *two* major political parties in 
	this country! Our priorities are messed up!
Metal Steve: Our priorities are *delicious.*
					-DieselSweeties.com

"How do we know this is the hottest thing on the Web? Becauwse it's 
 already been forwarded to us by, like, twenty people of varying political 
 stripes, and because every time we try to look at it, the server is 
 overloaded. Haven't we learned anything about the perils of groupthink, 
 people?"
					-Best Week Ever blog

"Arguing, in the sense of attempting to convince others, has gone out of
fashion with conservatives."
					-P.J. O'Rourke

"MTV needs to climb out of their teeny-bop ghetto, dust themselves off and 
 get back to the business of new wave."
					-They Might Be Giants

"With those basic ideas Isaac Asimov created a series of stories and
 novels that span thousands of years of human and robot development and
 could easily make kickass movies if Hollywood could ever pull its head 
 out of Philip K. Dick's corpse long enough to realize there are millions 
 of other awesome sci-fi writers and books out there."
					-Stephen Notley, angryflower.com

"Your love of pop music masks an obsession with the false promises of
 childhood."
					-CatAndGirl.com

"It would be an act of simple courtesy to the world for Mr. Cheney to get 
 off the ticket, since he has already done as much damage as humanly 
 possible in four years."
					-Maureen Dowd

"We're focusing on their struggles, not a guy with a gorgon on his templok
 or something."
					-Marti Noxon,
					on the crew of _Firefly_

"It's a bit of hyperbole, but... hyperbole is also a Supreme
 Court-protected form of speech."
					-Michael Moore

"If history teaches us anything, it's that something apocalyptic is going
 to have to happen before we change. We're not going to switch to electric
 cars until 70 percent of us can't breathe anymore."
					-Will Smith, 2004, 
					WashingtonPost.com

"The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when
 one will do."
					-Thomas Jefferson

"I'm very much of the 'make it dark, make it grim, make it tough,' but
 then, for the love of God, tell a joke."
					-Joss Whedon

"I know many of you reading this will probably think I'm exaggerating when
 I say this (since I exaggerate everything, except for my manliness which
 is enviable)..."
					http://maddox.xmission.com/

"A film is - or should be - more like music than like fiction. It should
 be a progression of moods and feelings. The theme, what's behind the
 emotion, the meaning, all that comes later."
					-Stanley Kubrick

"Sin ... has been made not only ugly but passe. People are no longer
 sinful, they are only immature or under privileged or frightened or, more
 particularly, sick."
					-Phyllis McGinley

"If you look back on the 60's and on balance, you think there was more
 good than harm, then you're probably a Democrat. If you think there was
 more harm than good, you're probably a Republican."
					-former president Bill Clinton, 2004

"I believe we are the only sentient beings in the universe, and 500 years
 from now we will still be the only sentient beings around. Aliens are
 something everyone else is doing."
					-Joss Whedon

"Actually, Bush's bike accident was different from John Kerry's accident:
 Bush fell when he tried turning too hard to the right; Kerry fell when he
 kept switching gears."
					-Jay Leno

"The past is a foreign country; they do things differently there."
					-L.P. Hartley

"The truly fashionable are beyond fashion."
					-Cecil Beaton

"The only graceful way to accept an insult is to ignore it; if you can't
ignore it, top it; if you can't top it, laugh at it; if you can't laugh at
it, it's probably deserved."
					-Russell Lynes

"Gabriel, one day the assholes of the world will come together, and they
 will build a statue of you."
                                        -Penny-Arcade.com

"John Kerry is out there campaigning hard. Earlier tonight, Barbra
 Streisand and Neil Diamond sang at a fundraiser for Kerry. As a result,
 experts say Kerry has a very good shot at winning the 1976 election."
					-Conan O'Brien

"All the troubles of man come from his not knowing how to sit still."
					-Blaise Pascal

"On the Senate floor, Dick Cheney flipped out and told Senator Pat Leahy
 to go f-himself. Can you believe that? Aren't these the same guys trying
 to fine Howard Stern for bad language?"
					-Jay Leno

"Commercials are pornography for capitalism."
					-Frank Zappa

"You take people, you put them on a journey, you give them peril, you find
 out who they really are. If there's any kind of fiction better than that,
 I don't know what it is."
					-Joss Whedon, on _Firefly_

[Asked why he won't participate in movie adaptaions of his work.]
"If someone's going to butcher my baby, I'd rather it wasn't me."
					-Alan Moore

"I look forward to working with you, Governor, to change the tone in
Washington, to restore a spirit of civility and respect and cooperation."
					-Dick Cheney, 2000

"The days of the war room and the permanent campaign are over... We take
seriously the responsibility to be honest and civil."
					-Dick Cheney, 2001

"The key thing is engagement of an informed citizenry - not a citizenry
which anguishes over an arcadia that is lost but never was; nor a
citizenry that yearns for a cloud cuckoo land that never will be."
					-Lord Robert May, 2004

"I can never give a 'yes' or a 'no.' I don't believe everything in life
 can be settled by a monosyllable."
					-Betty Smith

"Actually, Bush's bike accident was different from John Kerry's accident:
 Bush fell when he tried turning too hard to the right; Kerry fell when he
 kept switching gears."
					-Jay Leno

"It may amuse the American readers out there to know that we're having a
 wee election of our own here in Canada. It's a little hard to get worked
 up about, mostly on account of how Canadian politics has a baseline
 rationality and reasonableness that ensures that no matter who gets
 elected we'll end up with a competent government - very different from
 the U.S. in that respect."
					-Stephen Notley

"Life in the twentieth century is like a parachute jump: you have to get
 it right the first time."
					-Margaret Mead

"It is hard to know whether to laugh or cry when you hear President Bush
 comparing D-Day to the U.S. invasion of Iraq and the war on terrorism. If
 President Franklin Roosevelt had thrown the meager manpower resources 
 into D-Day that George Bush threw into Iraq a year ago, France would be a
 German-speaking country today."
					-Thomas Friedman

"Brains: Creepy, but almost everyone has one."
					-Jen R.

"There are two statements about human beings that are true: that all human
 beings are alike, and that all are different. On those two facts all
 human wisdom is founded."
					-Mark Van Doren

"Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody may be looking."
					-H. L. Mencken

"The longer I'm doing this I'm coming to learn that entertainment,
 politics, and the media are really juggling the same balls. We're all
 going for ratings, so we function by the same rules. What's a political
 poll other than a focus group for a television show?"
					-Jon Stewart

"It is often easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to 
 them."
					-Adlai Stevenson

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."
					-Martin Luther King, Jr.

"History must always be taken with a grain of salt. It is, after all, not
 a science but an art."
					-Phyllis McGinley

"You know what really makes this embarrassing? The other day the president
 said the leaders in Iraq are 'ready to take off the training wheels.'
 That's what he said, 'take off the training wheels.' Then he goes out and
 falls off his bicycle. And they wonder why the rest of the world doesn't
 take us seriously."
					-Jay Leno

"A White House spokesmen said he fell because it's been raining a lot and
 the top soil is loose. We went ahead and looked up the rain for real in
 Crawford, Texas. May 15th, 0.0 inches of rain. May 16th, 0.0 inches of
 rain. 17th no rain. 18th, 19th, 20th, 21st, 22nd, and 23rd no rain. First
 he chokes on a pretzel; now he fell off his bike. Mr. President, when are
 you going to admit that Laura is abusing you? There is no shame in being 
 a battered husband."
					-Jimmy Kimmel

"There are no grades of vanity, there are only grades of ability in
 concealing it."
					-Mark Twain

"Outside is the really bright place with no internet, right?"
					-Electron Mike, DieselSweeties.com

"Life is like a landscape. You live in the midst of it, but can describe 
 it only from the vantage point of distance."
					-Charles A. Lindbergh

"Rick Martin said 'if I'm going to do something worse than Menudo, I'm
 _really_ going to have to apply myself."
					-Bob Levine, 
					VH-1's 50 Most Awesomely Bad Songs Ever

"Being frustrated is disagreeable, but the real disasters of life begin 
 when you get what you want."
					-Irving Kristol

"With Iraq plunging into chaos and gas prices at record highs President
 Bush took time out this weekend for a ride on his bicycle, but
 unfortunately he fell off and sustained cuts to his face and hands.
 Apparently Bush was distracted by the enormous responsibilities of the
 presidency. I'm just kidding. He hit some gravel or something."
					-Craig Kilborn

"Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else."
					-Sir James Barrie

"South Carolina is too small for a republic and too large for an insane  
 asylum."
					-James L. Petigru, 1860

"Love, I find, is like singing. Everybody can do enough to satisfy 
 themselves, though it may not impress the neighbors as being very much."
					-Zora Neale Hurston

"_The Day After Tomorrow_ is rated PG-13. Millions of people die, but
 nobody swears, copulates, undresses or takes drugs."
					-A. O. Scott, NYTimes.com

"Comfort, opportunity, number and size are not synonymous with 
 civilization."
					-Abraham Flexner

"If I had created reality television I would have had a much greater
 influence, but then I would have had to KILL MYSELF."
					-Joss Whedon

"...The presidential election system has become unpredictable. The 
 nominating phase is especially volatile; with relatively small changes in
 luck, timing, or circumstance, several nominating races might have turned
 out differently. There is no purpose behind an electoral system in which
 the vote is impulsive and the outcome can hinge on random circumstance or
 minor issues. Stability and consistency are the characteristics of a
 properly functioning institution. Disorder is a sure sign of a defective
 system."
					-Thomas E. Patterson, 
					_Out of Order_

"It's hard to get inside the genius of Ricky Martin."
					-VH-1,
					50 Most Awesomely Bad Songs Ever

"In my judgment, this new paradigm renders obsolete Geneva's strict
 limitations on questioning of enemy prisoners and renders quaint some of
 its provisions."
					-Alberto R. Gonzales
					White House counsel, writing to 
					President Bush, Jan. 25, 2002

"Today, the Bush administration said the terrorist organization Hamas
 should be put out of business. And if there's one thing the Bush
 administration knows, it's how to put people out of business."  
					-Jay Leno

Metal Steve: What's up, hipster?
Indie Rock Pete: Gah! Why di you call me that?
Metal Steve: Gee, I dunno. Maybe the way you can't use the bathroom
	without acting like it's ironic?
					-DieselSweeties.com

"Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds
 discuss people."
					-Admiral H. G. Rickover

"It's a pretty good working arrangement, except that where I come from,
 LAN parties are as much about trash talking as they are video games. In
 Boise, killing someone in a video game is like winning another chance to
 guess aloud the various ways in which your buddy might like to have your
 cock in his mouth."
					-Safetymonkey.com  

"The world has achieved brilliance without conscience. Ours is a world
 of nuclear giants and ethical infants."
					-General Omar Bradley

"The Supreme Court is now deciding whether the president can detain an
 American citizen indefinitely without legal counsel. What? Isn't this why
 we left England? Didn't we have a King George once already? Hello?"
					-Jay Leno

"Men tire themselves in pursuit of rest."
					-Laurence Sterne

Grandpa: It sucks not having a body, doesn't it?
Red Robot: I think it's kind of relaxing. It's like I'm on vacation from
	having to smash stuff.
					-DieselSweeties.com

"It isn't enough to talk about peace. One must believe in it. And it
 isn't enough to believe in it. One must work at it."
					-Eleanor Roosevelt

"That song set white people back fifty years."
					-re: "Ice Ice Baby", VH-1
					50 Most Awesomely Bad Songs Ever

"There is nothing in either the practice or theory of American government
 that suggests presidents can or should unlitaerally dictate policy."
					-Thomas E. Patterson, _Out of Order_

"For years I avoided cryptograms because they seemed stupidly impossible.
 How the hell am I supposed to know what 'cvxrwhi' is? It could be 
 'lizards' or it could be 'panties.' Any time I can't tell the difference
 between lizards and panties I feel disadvantaged."
					-Lore, BookOfRatings.com

"On '60 Minutes' on last Sunday Bob Woodward suggested that the main 
 reason President Bush took the country to war is that he thinks he's on a 
 mission from God. Of course the problem with that is, it's also Osama bin 
 Laden's reason."
					-Jay Leno

"The supreme happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved - loved
 for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves."
					-Victor Hugo

"Always remember others may hate you but those who hate you don't win
 unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself."
					-Richard Nixon

"Members of the panel got annoyed because every time they asked Dick 
 Cheney a tough question he grabbed his chest and shouted, 'Elizabeth, 
 it's the big one!'"
					-Craig Kilborn

"If there is a bedrock principle of the First Amendment, it is that the
 government may not prohibit the expression of an idea simply because  
 society finds the idea itself offensive or disagreeable."
					-Justice William J. Brennan, 1989

"A successful lie is doubly a lie; an error which has to be corrected is
 a heavier burden than the truth."
					-Dag Hammarskjold

"With the situation in Iraq growing ever more dangerous, the 34-member
 Coalition of The Willing are, one by one, dropping out to join the other
 coalition known as Most of The Rest of The World."
					-Jon Stewart

"No man is justified in doing evil on the ground of expediency."
                                        -Theodore Roosevelt

"The Pledge of Allegiance, in my view, is something you would expect to
 find in the schoolrooms of a country that NEEDS to extract a pledge of
 Allegiance. We do not."
					-Gene Weingarten

"If bread is the first necessity of life, recreation is a close second."
					-Edward Bellamy

"When I came back to Dublin, I was court-martialed in my absence and
 sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my
 absence."
                                        -"The Hostage," by Brendan Behan

"Nostalgia isn't what it used to be."
					-Peter De Vries

"This formula ensures that Mr. Shyamalan's movies keep getting made but,
dude, each one's been worse than the last. And it's not like you started
with _Citizen Kane_, neither."
					-Fametracker.com

"We fear things in proportion to our ignorance of them."
					-Livy

"The happiness of most people we know is not ruined by great catastrophes
 or fatal errors, but by the repetition of slowly destructive little
 things."
                                        -Ernest Dimnet

"Men hate those to whom they have to lie."
					-Victor Hugo

"What experience and history teach is this: that people and governments
 have never learned anything from history."
					-Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel

"But legitimacy in a stable democracy also requires a public that is
 satisfied with the election process and the candidates. In this respect,
 the legitimacy of the presidential selection system is shaky. Opinion
 polls in recent elections have revealed a people disgruntled with the
 electoral process and discouraged with their choices."
					-Thomas E. Patterson, 
					_Out of Order_

"You can't separate peace from freedom because no one can be at peace
 unless he has his freedom."
					-Malcolm X

"Buddy - how lame are you get criticized by a woodland creature?"
					-filing techniques
				http://www.mnftiu.cc/mnftiu.cc/home.html

"Weingarten's hair is a national disgrace. Seriously his hair is a war
 crime."
					-Joel Achenbach

"Don't get me wrong. I love living in Washington. I still think it is the
 least superficial of the interesting American cities, owing to our
 inability to experience sensual pleasure. But over the past few months it
 has come to resemble one of those decadent triviality pits, like Paris in
 the 19th-century French novels."
					-David Brooks, New York Times   

 "In the republic of mediocrity, genius is dangerous."
					-Robert S. Ingersoll

"What Mr. Cheney is defending, in other words, is a doctrine that makes
 the United States a sort of elected dictatorship: a system in which the
 president, once in office, can do whatever he likes, and isn't obliged to
 consult or inform either Congress or the public."
					-Paul Krugman, New York Times

"There are no hopeless situations; there are only men who have grown
 helpless about them."
					-Clare Boothe Luce   

"Only the vanquished remember history."
					-Marshall McLuhan

"To understand another human being you must gain some insight into the
  conditions which made him what he is."
					-Margaret Bourke-White

"Buddy - how lame are you get criticizaed by a woodland creature?"
					-filing techniques
					http://www.mnftiu.cc/mnftiu.cc/home.html

"Nothing ever really sets human nature free, but self-control."
					-Phyllis Bottome

"As a kid, I put the grass between my thumbs and tried to make it squeak.
 I loved the sound of cherry bombs. I like the clang and the boom and the
 steam."
					-Tom Waits

"Uninterpreted truth is as useless as buried gold."
					-Lytton Strachey

"It is my rule never to lose me temper till it would be detrimental to
 keep it."
					-Sean O'Casey

Indie Rock Pete: What the hell are you eating?
Pale Suzie: Veggie burger with bacon. The best sandwich ever!
Indie Rock Pete: That's stupid!
Pale Suzie: Stupidly _delicious_!
					-DieselSweeties.com

"Life is short. Live it up."
					-Nikita S. Khrushchev

Tycho: Kevin Smith said his new movie _Jersey Girl_ "wasn't for critics."
Gabe: Wow! I didn't know you could even do that.
					-Penny-Arcade.com

"I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today."
					-William Allen White

"Man adjusts to what he should not; he is unable to adjust to what he
 should."
					-Jean Toomer

Indie Rock Pete: So when did you first realize that you were one of the
	cool kids?
Lil' Sis: That's easy! I believe it was when I first developed my main
	nerd-harrassing signature move.
					-DieselSweeties.com

"Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting
 go."
					-Herman Hesse

"Imagine your most sardonic friend suddenly possessed by Satan, and you
 start to get a picture of Jack Black at full tilt. He's a comic dervish,
 hissing and spitting like a boiler in the last shaky moments before it  
 explodes. ...Black seethes with an intelligent malevolence. He's like   
 Dennis the Menace with the brain of Lex Luthor. At times, he seems to 
 have so much volatile comic energy at his command that you suspect he 
 could fell a building with a cock of his eyebrow."
					-Fametracker.com

"Everyone wants to be Cary Grant; even I want to be Cary Grant."
					-Cary Grant

"Ghost stories appeal to our craving for immortality. If you can be afraid
 of a ghost then you have to believe that a ghost may exist.  And if a
 ghost exists, then oblivion might not be the end."
					-Stanley Kubrick

"Praise undeserved is satire in disguise."
					-Henry Broadhurst

"Asking a screenwriter what the movie's going to be like is like asking a
 doorman whether a building is going to be condemned."
					-Frank Miller,
					TheOnionAVClub.com interview

"Happiness is a sort of atmosphere you can live in sometimes when you're
 lucky. Joy is a light that fills you with hope and faith and love."
					-Adela Rogers St. Johns

"The world will never starve for wonders; but only for want of wonder."
					-G.K. Chesterton

"That's right: we'll be the first media outlet to declare, boldly and
 publicly, our belief that Jon Stewart was divinely anointed to host a 
 show on Comedy Central."
					-Fametracker.com

"Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together
 go to the making of genius. Love, love, love, that is the soul of
 genius."
					-Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

"I would correct a rumor, but they're all true."
					-Charlie Sheen

"It makes no sense, but it's fun to watch. That's probably a statement
 that can be applied to this series as a whole, hmmm?"
					-TelevisionWithoutPity.com

"More tears are shed over answered prayers than unanswered ones."
					-St. Teresa of Avila

"The skull means two things. It means if you see me coming, I am the angel
 of death. It also means that I'm dead. All of the contraints, the 
 physical bounds of society and the rules that you live by and all the 
 things that physically constrain you to a social and a more life, I am 
 dead to all of that. Which makes me extremely dangerous. Because I don't 
 [care] if I live or die or if I'm right or wrong. It's not for me to say 
 or judge or do. I think the skull being more than a target - something 
 for the bad guys to shoot at - the significance is that I am not of this 
 world and fear me. Because I am dead."
					-Thomas Jane, 
					on the _Punisher_ logo

"Hollywood, like Chaucer, likes to cast its women by their hair colour,
 assuming that lock-hue equals destiny. Blondes are sunny and innocent,
 brunettes are smouldering and conniving, and redheads... well, they're
 just so funny!"
					-Fametracker.com

"Few things help an individual more than to place responsibility upon him
 and to let him know that you trust him."
                                        -Booker T. Washington

"Hastiness and superficiality are the psychic diseases of the 20th 
 century, and more than anywhere else this disease is reflected in the 
 press."
					-Alexander Solzhenitsyn

"Look at him and tell me he doesn't look like a clown from the world's
 most effeminate rodeo."
					-"the Real Deal" RD Reynolds,
					WrestleCrap.com

"It is as fatal as it is cowardly to blink (at) facts because they are
 not to our taste."
					-John Tyndall

"Happiness is not a station you arrive at, but a manner of traveling."
					-Margaret Lee Runbeck

"If you're keeping score at home, so far our war in Iraq has created a
 police state in that country and socialism in Spain. So, no democracies
 yet, but we're really getting close."
					-Jon Stewart

"Pity the meek, for they shall inherit the earth."
					-Don Marquis

"Nothing is more difficult for Americans to understand than the
 possibility of tragedy."
					-Henry A. Kissinger

"Tact is, after all, a kind of mind-reading."
                                        -Sarah Orne Jewett

"Why is it that mystical totem animals always have to speak in riddles? Do
 they not think that being a talking animal would be mystical enough
 without adding some gnomic mumbo-jumbo into the mix?"
					-TelevisionWithoutPity.com

"We carry our nemesis within us: yesterday's self-admiration is the
 legitimate father of today's feeling of guilt."
					-Dag Hammarskjold

"We think according to nature. We speak according to rules. We act
 according to custom."
					-Francis Bacon

"A nickname is the heaviest stone that the devil can throw at a man."
					-William Hazlitt

"Attorney General John Ashcroft had surgery this week. His condition is
 listed as orange... He had his gall bladder removed, which is good, I 
 think we could all use John Ashcroft with a lot less gall... Actually, 
 that's the second thing John Ashcroft has had removed, if you count, of 
 course, the Constitution."
					-Jay Leno

"Most of the shadows of this life are caused by standing in our own 
 sunshine."
					-Ralph Waldo Emerson

"If future generations are to remember us with gratitude rather than
 contempt, we must leave them more than the miracles of technology. We
 must leave them a glimpse of the world as it was in the beginning, not  
 just after we got through with it."
                                        -Lyndon B. Johnson, 1964

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