Quote-o-rama:
The Eighth Miscellaneous File
"Hey, if I were denied a heavily disputed piece of land, I'd blow up innocent civilians with a crude bomb strapped around my midsection, too. No, wait, I wouldn't. That's fucking insane." _The Onion_, www.theonion.com "If you are ruled by mind you are a king; if by body, a slave." -Cato "If there is one basic element in our Constitution, it is civilian control of the military." -President Truman [Re: _Angel_] "Maybe she slept with Connor and became Cordelius." -Anne R. "Dignity is like a perfume; those who use it are scarcely conscious of it." -Queen Christina of Sweden "The trouble is that hardly anybody in America goes to bed angry at night." -George J. Stigler "I do not understand the world, but I watch its progress." -Katherine Anne Porter "I refuse to accept the idea that the 'is-ness' of man's present nature makes him morally incapable of reaching up for the 'ought-ness' that forever confronts him." -Martin Luther King, Jr. "A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks th' Lord wud do if He knew th' facts iv th' case." -Finley Peter Dunn "To be capable of respect is today almost as rare as to be worthy of it." -Joseph Joubert "The most fatal illusion is the settled point of view. Since life is growth and motion, a fixed point of view kills anybody who has one." -Brooks Atkinson "He who fears being conquered is sure of defeat." -Napoleon "Censorship, like charity, should begin at home; but unlike charity, it should end there." -Clare Booth Luce "No great man lives in vain. The history of the world is but the biography of great men." -Thomas Carlyle "We live in a moment of history where change is so speeded up that we begin to see the present only when it is disappearing." -R.D. Laing "bacon does make or break religions" -Dan McN. "To be nobody-but-myself - in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight, and never stop fighting." -e. e. cummings "The well of Providence is deep. It's the buckets we bring to it that are small." -Mary Webb "No man is so methodical as a complete idler, and none so scrupulous in measuring out his time as he whose time is worth nothing." -Washington Irving "Bigotry has no head, and cannot think; no heart, and cannot feel." -Daniel O'Connell "Ten people who speak make more noise than ten thousand who are silent." -Napoleon "A censor is an expert in cutting remarks. A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to." -Dr. Laurence Peter, 1977 "Time is the longest distance between two places." -"The Glass Menagerie" by Tennessee Williams "'I can forgive, but I cannot forget,' is only another way of saying, 'I will not forgive.' Forgiveness ought to be like a canceled note - torn in two, and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one." -Henry Ward Beecher "At first, I was just hoping to die. I thought: 'What are my children going to say? What are my sisters going to say?' Now, I'm not scared. I know that I have H.I.V. and I know how to save myself." -Nobantu Kwinina, AIDS patient in South Africa "Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching on magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music." -Kristian Wils "The audience is never wrong. They have a huge appetite for this and we've got a responsibility to satisfy that appetite." -Sandy Gryshow, on reality shows "Some of the most romantic meals I've ever experienced have been over eggs and shitty diner coffee after a slow, sweet morning; fries and beer in the wee hours, when I was drunk and sleepy but not wanting the night to end; or ethnic foods with new flavors and smells, unusual spices lingering suggestively on my tongue." -Min Liao, http://www.thestranger.com/current/chow.html "If you turn into John Basedow we're breaking up." -Anne R. "I have a terrible sense of foreboding, because last weekend a stunning omen occurred in this country. Anyone who thinks symbolically had to be shocked by the explosion of the Columbia shuttle, disintegrating in the air and strewing its parts and human remains over Texas . the president's home state! So many times in antiquity, the emperors of Persia or other proud empires went to the oracles to ask for advice about going to war. Roman generals summoned soothsayers to read the entrails before a battle. If there was ever a sign for a president and his administration to rethink what they're doing, this was it." -Camille Paglia, for Salon "Whatever you do will be insignificant. However, it is vitally important that you do it." -Gandhi "If you don't deal with what is going on in the world, you don't have an audience." -Yvette Lee Bowser, executive producer "The conventional notions of happiness cannot possibly be taken seriously by anyone whose intellectual or moral development has progressed beyond that of a 3-week-old puppy." -John W. Gardner "Dwarf doors are invisible when closed. Their own master cannot find them if their secret is forgotten." -Gandalf, _The Fellowship of the Ring_ "A man may build himself a throne of bayonets but he cannot sit on it." -William R. Inge "I've had my heart broken, and it's not fun. But I'd rather have my heart broken than break someone else's heart." -Josh Hartnett aj110: my question: WHEN are we gonna get a DC expansion set? bjmc1975: First, apparently someone has to cast the one true ring (you know, the one that comes in the starter packs) into the fires of Mount Doom. -HCrealms.com "It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring." -Alfred Adler "The cause of exploration and discovery is not an option we chose. It is a desire written in the human heart." -President George W. Bush "'History,' Stephen said, 'is a nightmare from which I am trying to awake.'" _Ulysses,_ by James Joyce "And yet, most people are going about their daily business. They have lived through so many stretches of media shrillness - abducted women, missing children, killer sharks - that it has become background noise. Repeated warnings about terrorism, and all the false alarms, have diluted their effectiveness. An orange alert becomes like a snow alert, just another fact of life." -Howard Kurtz "OK, interview over. Commence beating." -Strongbad, homestarrunner.com "There is a club if you'd like to go You could meet someone who really loves you So you go and you stand on your own And you leave on your own And you go home and you cry and you want to die" "How Soon is Now," the Smiths Aubrey: Jason, how would you like the chance to warm the hearts of children? Jason: Oh, no! Last time you used my stove you forgot to clean it up afterwards. http://www.somethingpositive.net/ "He loves and hates the ring, as he loves and hates himself." -Gandalf, _The Fellowship of the Ring_ "The stupid speak of the past, the wise of the present, and fools of the future." -Napoleon "Consistency is a paste jewel that only cheap men cherish." -William Allen White "Each and every one of us has one obligation, during the bewildered days of our pilgrimage here: the saving of his own soul, and secondarily and incidentally thereby affecting for good such other souls as come under our influence." -Kathleen Norris "In every person, even in such as appear most reckless, there is an inherent desire to attain balance." -Jakob Wassermann "let me check on the pinnacle of wit tracking site..." -Kim S. "Were I a philosopher, I should write a philosophy of toys, showing that nothing else in life need to be taken seriously, and that Christmas Day in the company of children is one of the few occasions on which men become entirely alive." -Robert Lynd "To enjoy life one should give up the lure of life." -Mohandas K. Gandhi "Life does not count by years. Some suffer a lifetime in a day, and so grow old between the rising and the setting of the sun." -Augusta Jane Evans "The next great step of mankind is to step into the nature of his own mind." -Stanley Kauffmann "And yet on the other hand unless warinesse be us'd, as good almost kill a Man as kill a good Book; who kills a Man kills a reasonable creature, Gods Image, but hee who destroyes a good Booke, kills reason it selfe, kills the Image of God, as it were in the eye." -Milton, 1644 "I happen to practice Wicca competitively. I commune with nature better than anyone in my weight class." www.dieselsweeties.com "Why is propaganda so much more successful when it stirs up hatred than when it tries to stir up friendly feeling?" -Bertrand Russell "The time on either side of 'now' stands fast." -Maxine Kumin 12:26:00 killyou 808: Words that should not be used together (revised): 12:26:06 killyou 808: 1: nasal sex 12:26:12 killyou 808: 2: urethral fisting 12:26:21 killyou 808: 3: projectile menstruation "We must not shrink from whatever is ahead of us. We must not fail in our duty and our responsibility for the citizens of the countries that are represented by this body." -Colin Powell, Secretary of State "Love and confidence go hand in hand. Only confidence allows loving energy to flow and insures intimacy between two human beings. The first sign that confidence no longer exists between two people is when one of the parties resists personal contact, when he or she is noticeably unwilling to receive caresses, kisses, hugs." -Laura Esquivel "If you want great food and would like to see a naked lady wrestle an alligator, you go to New Orleans." -Andy Rooney "The administration's interest in all e-mail is a wholly unhealthy precedent, especially given this administration's track record on FBI files and IRS snooping. Every medium by which people communicate can be subject to exploitation by those with illegal intentions. Nevertheless, this is no reason to hand Big Brother the keys to unlock our e-mail diaries, open our ATM records, read our medical records, or translate our international communications." -Sen. John Ashcroft, Oct. 1997 "I say get high on Buddha. Jolly fat men will never make you whore yourself out when your dopamine receptors burn off." -Imam S. "Opportunity dances with those who are ready on the dance floor." -H. Jackson Brown, Jr. "I don't think there's anyone in this room who grew up without fairies, magic and angels in their imaginary world. They aren't bad. They aren't serving as a banner for an anti-Christian ideology. If I have understood well the intentions of Harry Potter's author, they help children to see the difference between good and evil. And she is very clear on this." -Rev. Don Peter Fleetwood, at a Vatican news conference "We're no longer a superpower. We're a super-duper power." -House Majority Whip Tom Delay (R-Texas) "The French complain of everything, and always." -Napoleon "An intellectual snob is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture and not think of The Lone Ranger." -Dan Rather "Growing up, I was taught that a woman should lower her gaze, so that men could never know her thoughts. The so-called modesty of Arab women is in fact a war tactic." _Scheherazade Goes West,_ by Fatema Mernissi "One man's vulgarity is another's lyric." -John Marshall Harlan, Supreme Court justice, 1971 "The Democratic transformation of the Greater Middle East should be the next big trans-Atlantic project following the fall of the wall and the consolidation of a peaceful Europe, including the former Eastern bloc." -Ronald Asmus, former deputy assistant secretary of state in the Clinton cabinet, now a senior fellow at the German Marshall Fund "Lift up your eyes on high, and behold who hath created these things, that bringeth out their host by number: he calleth them all by names by the greatness of his might, for that he is strong in power; not one faileth." Isaiah 40:26 "Truth is not a diet but a condiment." -Christopher Darlington Morley "I've never been poor, only broke. Being poor is a frame of mind. Being broke is only a temporary situation." -Mike Todd "If you're going to be searching for pages of garden gnomes at work, turn off your speakers before the adorable MIDI songs deafen your coworkers." -Kim S. "They can because they think they can." -Virgil, _Aeneid_ "A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops." -Henry Brooks Adams "The illusion of free will is so comforting." -Neil Gaiman, book signing, 6-24-97 "When we cannot act as we wish, we must act as we can." -Terrence "In the aftermath of Sept. 11th, we realized that the enemy was on the doorstep, that we would not have warning, might not have time to mobilize and train for a great length of time, because the world had changed." -Thomas F. Hall assistant Secretary of Defense "In individuals, insanity is rare; but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule." -Friedrich Nietzsche Kim: You know, it's possible Choo-Choo will end up really eating Pepito. Davan: Yes, but it's not possible that I'll care. http://www.somethingpositive.net/ "The game's primary stat is Innocence, in the same way that's Call of Cthulhu's primary stat is SAN, or Rifts' primary stat is munchkin semen." -Darren MacLennan, rpg.net "We aren't the only ones who know that Bush is an inarticulate buffoon. His handlers know that, as well, and that's why he's so protected. It's an unfortunate thing, because it shields us - not just as people in the media, but as citizens who should know who our leader is. Whereas when I watch C-SPAN and see Tony Blair in the House Of Commons, I'm like, 'Yes! You are awesome!' He is so in control of every nuance of information that has anything to do with the world. Imagine what would happen if we held our president to that standard of articulation and awareness of what's going on around him." -Ed Helms, Onion AV Club interview "Of course, the folks who seem most upset by affirmative action don't seem terribly concerned about preferential treatment for children of alumni -- how do you think Dubya got into Yale? -- not to mention star quarterbacks." -Howard Kurtz "There ought to be a law forbidding newspapers, radio or television stations from reporting the name of a lottery winner unless, at the same time, they listed the name of every single loser." -Andy Rooney "I still say a church steeple with a lightning rod on top shows a lack of confidence." -Doug McLeod "To forbid us anything is to make us have a mind for it." -Michel de Montaigne, 'Essays,' 1559 "Its secret (clear to its viewers but not the paleofeminists and moralists who decried it) is that while The Bachelor pretends to celebrate a primative dating ritual, its audience was mean to laugh at it. That's why its viewers, mostly young women, watched; they didn't aspire to be one of the twenty-five dewey-eyed dimbos seeking their M.R.S. degree any more than your average young male Fear Factor viewer want to eat earthworms." _Time_ magazine "It breaks my heart to find myself within the cesspool of reality TV shows." -Peter Funt, the host of "Candid Camera" "History has shown us all too often the consequences of dreaming poorly or not at all." -Jeff VanderMeer "Nor does it give me pain to tell the world fearlessly, that when you are dead they shall not look upon your like again." -from "An Address to the Rev. George Gilfillan," by William Topaz McGonagall "We have so many words for states of the mind, and so few for the states of the body." -Jeanne Moreau "Americans have the will to resist because you have weapons. If you don't have a gun, freedom of speech has no power." -Yoshimi Ishikawa, Japanese author, 1992 "Life is not a spectacle or a feast; it is a predicament." -George Santayana "'Never be ashamed,' my ol' dad used ter say, 'there's some who'll hold it against you, but they're not worth botherin' with.'" -Hagrid, _Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire_ "If we would only give, just once, the same amount of reflection to what we want to get out of life that we give to the question of what to do with a two weeks' vacation, we would be startled at our false standards and the aimless procession of our busy days." -Dorothy Canfield Fisher "Every day there is no peace is another day that I will not get to see my mother." -Myung Sun Park, separated from his family during the Korean War, on the North Korea crisis "I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious." -Einstein, 1952 "If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals." -Sirius, _Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire_ "Why are you dropping cats on me?! Can't you see my pain!" http://www.somethingpositive.net/ "You can fool too many of the people too much of the time." -James Thurber "Ravers are my white people." -Dan McN. "If all you do is wait for ships to come to you, you're not doing your job. The idea is to push the borders out." -Frances Fragos-Townsend, chief of Coast Guard Intelligence "I know what I must do - but I am afraid to do it." -Frodo, _The Fellowship of the Ring_ "The surest way to remain poor is to be an honest man." -Napoleon "To wish to act like angels while we are still in this world is nothing but folly." -Saint Theresa of Avila "Efficiency is the lingua franca of getting it on!" www.dieselsweeties.com "Well, I think you're smart, you sweet thing, Tell me your name, I'm dying here." "Got You (Where I Want You)" by the Flys "It's like, oh yeah, you can totally deliver a huge special-effects driven spectacle along with great characters and powerful emotional moments. All y'hafta do is *not screw it up.* After so many years when no big movie could actually succeed, where the craft was so shoddy that no film could do any better than getting maybe 60% or 70% of its elements working properly, these LoTR films feel Gandalf charging down the hill with the sun at his back. They feel like liberation. Thank you, Peter Jackson! *Thank you for not sucking!*" -Stephen Notley, http://angryflower.com/ "You have not converted a man because you have silenced him." -John Morely, 1874 "This book is the equivalent of chewing on tin foil. I not only recommend staying away from it, but crossing the street to avoid it. Anybody out there want a free copy? Zero stars." -Joe Bob Briggs, http://www.joebobbriggs.com/bookclub/bookclub.html "The happiest women, like the happiest nations, have no history." -George Eliot "The philosophies of one age have become the absurdities of the next, and the foolishness of yesterday has become the wisdom of tomorrow." -Sir William Osler "We are all snobs of the Infinite, parvenus of the Eternal." -James Gibbons Huneker "In a great romance, each person plays a part the other really likes." -Elizabeth Ashley "Among these things but one thing seems certain - that nothing certain exists, and that nothing is more pitiable or more presumptuous than man." -Pliny the Elder "Ninety-nine percent of the failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses." -George Washington Carver Jason: I think I just stuffed my own stocking. Aubrey: Don't make break out Rudolph the red-pronged taser. http://www.somethingpositive.net/ "Well, I thought, 'who among my friends would want a candy cane-shaped, eggnog scented strap on?' Then I thought 'who deserves it?'" http://www.somethingpositive.net/ "If a man will begin in certainties he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin in doubts he shall end in certainties." -Francis Bacon "Under pressure, people admit to murder, setting fire to the village church or robbing a bank, but never to being bores." -Elsa Maxwell "Censorship reflects a society's lack of confidence in itself. It is the hallmark of an authoritarian regime..." -Justice Potter Stewart, 1966 "To me it seems as if when God conceived the world, that was Poetry; He formed it, and that was Sculpture; He colored it, and that was Painting; He peopled it with living beings, and that was the grand, divine, eternal Drama." -Charlotte Saunders Cushman "Competition brings out the best in products and the worst in people." -David Sarnoff "My own brother, Aberforth, was prosecuted for practicing inappropriate charms on a goat." -Dumbledore, _Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire_ "Life does not give itself to one who tries to keep all its advantages at once. I have often thought morality may perhaps consist solely in the courage of making a choice." -Leon Blum "March has an equinox, which isn't something I paid much attention to until I started to have so many pagan friends. Equinoxes and solstices are such sensible things to celebrate that I'm tempted to take up pagantry in my spare time, but for now I'll just stick with my practice of referring to Saint Patrick's Day as the Tavernal Equinox." -the Brunching Shuttlecocks http://www.brunching.com/ "All the historical books which contain no lies are extremely tedious." -Anatole France "I got to wear pointy ears, which was a lot of fun. I think I'll request them for all my projects from now on." -Hugo Weaving "I thought it was cool how HHH just tossed Jericho out of the ring and made him vanish, possibly into another dimension, at the end of the match." -Dr. Unlikely, http://wienerboard.com/ "Why is the line between good role-playing and paranoid schizophrenia uncomfortably thin?" -Ken, _Dork Tower_ "I'd like to see, within the comic-book business, less of a reverence for stuff that really wasn't all that good in the first place. Comic books have been around for more than 60 years, and as in any field, there's been an awful lot of bad stuff. In the comic-book world, there tends to be an overblown sense of tradition." -Frank Miller theonionavclub.com interview "If we like a man's dream, we call him a reformer; if we don't like his dream, we call him a crank." -William Dean Howells "It is a stupidity second to none, to busy oneself with the correction of the world." -Moliere "Let's go. Just you. And me." _Watership Down_ "Once you start trusting yourself and relating to the world as an empowered human being instead of a hapless consumer drone, something remarkable happens. Your cynicism dissolves." _Culture Jam_, byt Kalle Lasn "Middle age snuffs out more talent than ever wars or sudden deaths do." -Richard Hughes "You must not fight too often with one enemy, or you will teach him all your art of war." -Napoleon "30 panzers materialize and vaporize your ogre mage." "No, thats not fair!" "Fine, lets chance roll.... YES! Bye bye ogre mage!" "DAMNIT!" -rpg.net "A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists." -Don Marquis "Uh, are Kim and PeeJee going to be back with our new order of liquor soon? The realization I just spent a whole Saturday playing Dungeons & Dragons is sinking in and I need to soften my shame." http://www.somethingpositive.net/ "Everyone's quick to blame the alien." -Aeschylus "Sometimes I sleep *on* the boxes - and sometimes I sleep *in* them!" http://www.dieselsweeties.com/ "For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand." Ephesians 6: 12-13 "It takes a great deal of history to produce a little literature." -Henry James "Fear is the parent of cruelty." -James A. Froude "The United States is a different place than it was back in 1791. As visionary as they were, the framers of the Constitution never could have foreseen, for example, that our government would one day need to jail someone indefinitely without judicial review. There was no such thing as suspicious Middle Eastern immigrants back then." http://theonion.com/
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