Quote-o-rama: Spam!


Quote-o-rama:
Spam

All actual titles from mails I have received. I may eventually put up a humorous commentary on each later in life. All I can presume is that in the constant war for my consumer dollars, they feel unsolicited e-mails with, shall we say creative titles, will somehow catch my attention and convince me to purchase their products.

Links:
* Spamamusement.com web cartoon.
* The Make Money Fast Hall of Humiliation


charming perpetrator

unaware cello
From: Infuriatingly J. Skylab
That dance to overhear bowl
Suck my catling!
drive-in tyrannical

I want b0nk you!
MR.WANG QUIN
cu. sorceress
Lilian admires you wasservorlag
Unending list of fantastic plow

porous quartic bootes
I asked if she wanted to have sex. She agreed ?
ten invariable
Re: glorify misleading
Iranian caviar

Re: microwave Cossack
Re: pom mastermind
Paul accidentality degrees
From: Socrates Troutman
Software 3000 omelet

Don't pass on this, ok? vicissitude
Re: ACZPZX, is shout "help!"
Paul scythe 1 bodice rippers
re: liberationists about
Re: period of enemies

Subject: Don't condoms suck?
pal - you are the hypochondriac
Marylou don't sleep yet
Earth is not round! It's dirty!
Best place to buuuuuuy druuuuuugs

Paul stovepipe alchemists near 57
Paul ballerina 4 widows
fail malnourished parsimony
Subject: WMD in your pants (penis pill)
Subject: Enormous upward movement expected  c l  jmu l gynpctf

Subject: Fire your boss, with eBay!
Claire has your jtj
Subject: who wants to fuck this russian student majordomo?
Subject: S0ma Relaxation
From: Pancake L. Hood 

From: Doonesbury Q. Wobbly 
	Subject: Paul i demand an apology
Subject: Davei changed my body completley
Subject: FWD: Stop emails like this one..
Set your bedroom on fire with this guys zmduaiuwdrzsmb
paul@otd,com 2003's Ultimate dilogarithm w ougfxxdi

OMG! That's the wrong bus!!!! OMdmqbxjsq!!
Re: NOO, the guest sympathetically
Ride like a stalion for 36 hours
Bob Dole loves viagra, so should you!
Paul Take A FREE Test Drive Now yak

she always turns in too late spicciazgi
Re: XQTMCOB, whole choir stood
lpbsuqcygulmd
Subject: Sir, EN1ARGE 1T
bafdy armunian

Dont tell her please
Got 097 email spams again ? we can help ! nloqtpa w
New Technology for the Third World
China Inflatable Products
Claire has your

Fatal Sex
Subject: CATCH a Cheating Lover - By Sending them an E-Card.!!         K
NanoAging
fuck virgin girls or they will fuck you!!!
High Potenbt female attractant  puk frcgey

out in the West town, I saw her standing......  ye  ycyxen
This CATV tool rocks dolores
she will beg for you
Open Her Floodgates of Passion peering
Btw, How's Ur Disease?

Increase your Penis Size  possum
The Uncertainty Principle Is Untenable
RE:anvil fired your boss  ashc ltpt m
RE:hoagland Hoooo fmeklfe
Reply-To: fomeguhol@britneyclub.com

Re:spleenwort, get your GoldvisaCard Now mcfjquskrtjw
god bless you mzaqg
The case is closed
RE: Paul this is what I us bomb jf xeeex u tnax
gkackle fmut ftldhny

You left your umbrella
Paul, Seek of spam ?
How do you turn it on?
Can you cheer me up?
Satisfy your lover like never before

FWD: she thinks it was her is xo
ardont woosier
HAVE MORE INTENSE OR^Q             ^Y 238181
this is the most embarassing thing ever pccgy
FW: - How do you do horny Perryas!

Fwd: possessed
fireyhell
Fw[4]:Unleash your cable power
the master hormone
Maybe we can try?

You blocked my MSN
Re: Rapists and Robbers have a New Weapon
you are the one and only
Woman can enjoy the benefits also
Caitlyn DOES THE SIZE OF YOUR PENIS REALLY MATTER?

Sexy, Charming & Delicious!
Fw: I hope she can handle your increased... still lamd s fcpwr taio
RUIN ANYONE ANYWHERE ANYTHING agvx ctj xwr
DIES IST KEIN SPAM !
why u send me this...

--

Actual mail we got, to our abuse mailbox, about some spam. Unedited:

"ARE YOU PHILIPPINO PEOPLE REDUCED TO SPAMMING LIKE THE FILTH SCUM GARBAGE
MURDERING SPINELESS IMMORAL GODLESS YANKEES. DO YOU PHILIPINO PEOPLE WANT TO
END UP LIKE YANKEE COCKROACHES AND THE GARBAGE TRASH OF THE WORLD.
PLEASE REMOVE YOUR FRAUDULENT IMMORAL GODLESS TRASH SCUM FILTH YOU ADORE
HAVING STUCK UP YOU IMMORAL GODLESS ANUSES AS FAR AS YOU CAN MANAGE OUT OF
OUR MAILBOXES."

--

Modify the wrong parts of your... pmw hnhmiwaun le
Professional hand made from thailand
Paul, stop spyware bitches
Subject: Try The Little Blue Pill, It Works!! pxgvluhcg
Fw: Check out this secret bhxxtwka
is it over yet

Fear after drinking?
blaskbody marallel x si
sorry to bother you
Pamela, Enlarge Your PENIS! recording cipcocgoupc eu  co
WITH GOD  I BLIVE  AND TRUST
Please tell me this is a joke

RE: your new wife...
wtf dont tell me you still pay
Looking for a way out?
Create A Harry Potter Library On Us!
Take hold of your Pleasure! llgaf

Un mundo LINUX, Un mundo DIFERENTE
Enhance y0ur manh0od now
Make her scream
Do you have spies in your computer? htefpnhteqo ddpyll
Re: Thick as a brick!

Transform your rod into a monster
Getting hard! for a great night's sleep!
I'm waiting and
If you do not like SEX remove soon thanks21555
Amsterdam style

straight from okinawa l kekqrejvfxq
How did THIS get on my computer?
i am deeply grateful to everything
I don't deserve you
Pete The Patch is Simple & Effective

Tired of deleting Junk Mail?
From Clark Kent to Superman in Bed
This Stun Gun is also a Flashlight
Get a P.O. Box NOW- You'll Need It!!
Layoffs aren't fun.

Grow ten years younger in 30 days ..
noc give it to me baby
I have a crush on you. kbg
before Apocalyspe check the Beta version
voodoo machine

steak knife liquidation
Science has finally done it gjxajf
Daily mortality reflection
** HOT *** Senator Lieberman ***
Jan 16 big@boss.com         (91K) Re: Document

THIRSTY COLLEGE GIRLS  (FREE)
Men, double your contractions and duration with European Formula! (Doctor 
	recommended)
What can YOU do in 3 minutes?
Make IT big... FOREVER
Get A Massive Penis Overnight

Your slut wife boss need some action!
Grab THIS brass ring
Sleep With An Angel Once... You'll Never Sleep Alone Again
~GET OUT NOW*~
I like it! ov

Dating in a box
give the gift that lasts all year.
Where Is It Hanging
Paul, Very lill bithces
Frequent urination success!

Stop losing FREE WILL
You are going to break down today
It's like a 4 feet antenna yg
This will be the best email you ever read
Beef Up Your Penis

do I turn you on cjqhjhecgdwrepk
Chemical Warfare Gear, MP3 players, Panasonic Fax Film
Subject: paul ,BRITTANY SPEARS' HIGH SCHOOL FRIENDS REVEAL HOME VIDEO
I love to be licked all over nakxciprdsektb
Phoenix 13

Get 250 business cards for 'free'
Return to your youth ncc
Maximize the Pleasure at 40% OFF
OPEN and check out the mouse Mafia and Find True Love all at the same time
 Re: your adult website...

Subject: Splurge on yourself                   QDADT
Re:noc,look,my beautiful girl friend
Nature isn't always right....
Herpes: Important News
I want to blow you rxi

Hey Its Brooke!! lsrnt
WE DROPSHIP
Make this private eye see your case.
What went wrong with my erection?
DONT BE SCARED AT THE BEACH THIS YEAR! 0662ERI-7

What Tarzan used to get Jane
=> Bigger breasts -- Men Will Look
YOU WILL KNOW SOON!
Ding DONG!
Find a headhunter here!

Do it now , you'll be hot this summer
Your horse needs a name!
Re:              LMURKZNGIF
From: Valentino Weinraub 
Subject: Contemplated the essence of your life lately?

I bet you won't read this...
Station News Volume 2
I NEED TO BE YOUR LUST SLAVE
The Nations Top Law Firms Agree
Does this meet your criteria?

My weight was smothering me
Tell the truth!
Love Like No Other!!!!!
Watch your employee
I NEED TO BE YOUR LUST SLAVE

YOUR PC IS ABOUT TO CRASH....
Harry Potter and the Hidden Laws of Magic
I say it does matter, what do you think?
My kitchen table is a money machine 
Avoid gaining Wight . . .  Loose In ONE HOUR . . .

Ira losing money? (7725ZrLd5-559VnHa0907SmEw4-1@26)
Don't pay $200 per hour to protect your legal rights!
Fw: Tired of the 9 to 5?25733
Close Relatives One Of A Kind 
Why would you not

Who is your favorite celeb?  See them nude!!! +IJEKZZ
Yo my Shizzle! (6775qIaU5-245mEyQ1606i@21)
What's Blue and creamy?
People say it doesnt matter.
 A_Lesbian_Hangout______________________________

LA MEJOR BASE DE DATOS ACTUALIZADA
ready for the next level?
Mary sent me to you          9062
-+- You better answer me -+-       e3-6594-e3
is everything ok, mr. defranceschi

if i can sneak off with you
A little luck and $70 to start
Swim with the dolphins 
All you need is one big play
Top Secret Absolut Lava Lamp Plans

Animals Like You Have Never Seen..                         5823
Did you ask for 45 extra years?
The government knows how to make you money 
I need to tell you I like you alot
baby I really need to tell ya something

H_A_C_K_E_R     &    S_E_C_U_R_I_T_Y
Girl And Guy Magnet
Celebrity Orgy
Its The Force On Your Side
A Bigger, Better Hammer

why didnt you come watch me like you said you would?
VELUPTUOUS COLLEGE COEDS
TIRED OF THE 40 X 40 X 40 PLAN?  YOU KNOW:
Re: MUST BE A MISTAKE
Desde su Web Site

10W-40 motor oil for your sex
buynowfromturkey
helpful septic tank info...
Shocking way of making 1 Million Dollars on the Internet...
Market With Guts

ARE YOU UNFAITHFUL??
Your an Adult, Act like One.
RE: You'd do that for me??
How Now Brown Cow!!!
Not Popular But This Works

Pill to Increase Your Ejaculation by 581%
We'll Share Our Stash
Apology from the CEO of Ramius Corporation
Fw: Learn to Survive a Violent Encounter
Get Personal with Everyone.net!

Ideal Situation #3BA4
Bring the comfort of Leather to your home today!
listen to me, or tell me to kiss off!
THE POWER OF DOING NOTHING!!!
Try Our Product To Make Windows More Fault Tolerant

I Finally Felt It!!!!! 
The Secret Way to Get Wealty
Do You Like Having Sex?
Life would be horrile without you..                         19933
C24O All new! - Investigate Anyone or Anything now!

Is YOUR MONEY Safe? 
Antidepressants, Birth Control, Menopause, Hysterectomies, and Stress Can
	Cause
MAKE MONEY FAST,USING THE POWER OF THE INTERNET
Animal Lovers Go To The Extreme!!!!!!
Who says baby boomers don't?

find your solemate; thank you 
Become Wealthy!  You're Very OWN Cash Marketing Machine!
BE SAFE SEND E-MAIL
Hate Junk Mail? So do we.
Like  something  Tough  and  Refreshing???

BuykManufacturekDirectkSavek75%-85%kOnkInkjetsk&kLaserkCartridgeskk
This is UNBELIEVABLE
No one has all the answers,just choices...
Controversial Hell I Make Money
vampire, Be Hurry! MOST EXCITING, THICKEST, HEAVIEST PAY PLAN in
	existence... -ESQC

This Is Where It Gets Exciting!!!
read fast = understand well = remember more = perform better on job
PREPARE TO BE BLOWN AWAY!
The Unhuman Perversions!!!......
Biological warfare support

Government Grants Are For Real!!!!!!
Multiple Ways To Get Home Loans
FW: I n s t a n t l y Att ract Women-Sexually
If you use a septic system
Hi I am Wilma, and I have a dream. . .

LOSE WEIGHT BEFORE YOU GAIN IT!!!
Fwd: attention time travelers and aliens
your weekly FREE education...from MrSwing...
Swing LOOOW, Sweet Chariot 10
Move Ahead in your carrer

No Cost Quote 200110070750x35605
Unable to pay your supplier??
I've Finally Found It
dip me in honey & throw me to the lesbians
Prohibition Buster

RE : what did you say?
The best snoring product on the market
STOP SNORING IN YOUR HOUSE IMMEDIATELY
as seen on "60 minutes"
More sexual enery

Your needs can be met
PLEASE TELL ME MORE!
"Invitation!!!!!!!!"
RE: That's the 9th e-mail I send to you! 005_355
Put Your Lover Into A Coma!

DO YOU HAVE A BALLOON?
I LVOE YOU AND I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE!!!!!
When will you accept Credit Cards?
Explosive Penny Stock Alert
Septic tank owners only

GREAT SEX IN A BOTTLE !!
Move Ahead in your carrer
Government Grants Are For Real!!
	(This mail was from beendovr00@bemybabey.com)
Used by everyone in every country
bosy - let it ride, cash out now!

Todos los albumes en M p 3
We end Creditor Harassment!
Your child will love this magazine
Marlboro lights is $23.00 per a cartoon, ten pack.
HOUSEWIFE IN SWEDEN ACCIDENTALLY INVENTS A BREAD THAT MIRACULOUSLY STOPS
	YOUR APPETITE AND HUNGER

5 Items to NEVER Put in Your Resume
CUCHATITA 5 POLVOS BUENA SUERTA
Seduce Women Instantly!
THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH-INFLATING GRADES SIMPLY DEFLATES EDUCATION
For you party people
Who Do the Kathmandu?

Proposal from Italy
"It will light your fire" for WOMEN
Get Away!
unwanted probe
Perform Baptisms!
The Millionaire Mind

ARE YOU HORNY TONIGHT!!
STOP EATING GARBAGE!
Receive Your Blessing
Billy's Mission
Lose 8-10 Inches IN ONE Hour Guaranteed!

need a new or 2nd driver's license fast 201671
ornql
Explode your web counter
Fwd: WANT A BIGGER PENIS? THEN READ THIS!
        (This mail was from penis@enlargement101.com)
IT'S INCREDIBLE WHAT COLLEGE GIRLS WILL DO!!
Incredibly Enhanced Sensations

Mas Impresion-Garantia TOTAL !!
Oferta Laboral Domiciliaria
Awesome Japanese Schoolgirls
First We Terminate Your Debt Then We..........
[noc] Servicio de envio de E-mails

	From: areyouready@hotmail.com
	Subject: Hello you sexy thing
	BARNYARD CHICKS

ALAMAMA WOMEN EARNS $148,931.07 YR HELPING OTHER WOMEN! +utbms
TEXAS WOMAN MAKES $189,876.91 YR HELPING OTHER WOMEN! +11092  
I_Show_You_How_To_Pull_Back_Ground_Checks_On_Any_One_
About Your Family
Fire The Creep You Call Your Boss!!

Clark Kent Or Superman You Decide VIAGRA!!
LOOK LIKE CINDY CRAWFORD IN 6 WEEKS....   
I Finally Found It!!!!!!!!
Yeah WOW! Hey Are You Being Investigated -kjfuxoartp
The Phantom Beats Radar Everytime

Subject: A GLOBAL REPORT OF BREAK & ENTER,  THEFT, TREPASS, FRAUD,
        FABRICATION AND COLLUSION CONSPIRED BY VANCOUVER POLICE-BURGLAR
        WATCH-A STATE OF WIDESPREAD STINK, OPPORTUNISTIC & RAMPANT
        THIEVERY, PLAQUE, CHAOS, BARBARISM AND LAWLESS

You want 100.000 visitors per day ?
Slots...Looser Than Your Girlfriend!!!
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HOW THE PRO'S DO IT

	From: streakingprincess@123india.com
	To: Magnetic Mones<>
	Subject: Create A Magnetic Attraction          29542



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