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"My mother's always telling me how my brother got to see God. I wonder what she'll say when I tell her I got to see the Devil?" _Sanctum_ “Most characters in comics simply didn’t have any families, and it was something I loved. It was something I loved to write about. When I first came out to America, people told me that in _The Sandman_ I created a dysfunctional family, which was not a phrase I had heard before that in England. I talked to people about it, and I realized that what people in America called ‘a dysfunctional family’ was the same thing that we in England referred to as ‘a family.’ You didn’t see a lot of functional ones.” –Neil Gaiman, 2008 "That was the lesson. You don't get a second chance." -Thessaly, _Sandman: A Game of You_ "I think Hell's something you carry around with you, not somewhere you go." -Charles Rowland, _Sandman: Season Of Mists_ "Makes you feel sorry for the gods and goddesses, doesn't it? After their temples fall apart. I wonder what happens to them?" "Some of them die. Some of them change. And some keep going. Maybe some even get jobs as dancers." _Sandman: Brief Lives_ "I know how gods begin, Roger. We start as dreams. Then we walk out of dreams into the land. We are worshipped and loved, and take power to ourselves. And then one day there's no one left to worship us. And in the end, each little god and goddess takes its last journey back into dreams... and what comes after, not even we know." _Sandman: Brief Lives_ "So. Whatever happens. It was good being your raven. Really, I mean... It was good being your friend." -Matthew, _Sandman: The Kindly Ones_ "It has been four years since the repeal of prohibition - illusionary legislation at best. Moral strengths cannot be governed. They must be earned. The country now stands mired in a backlash of parties and platitudes. Our collective heads are stuck in the sand. Nobody sees what's coming." _Sandman Mystery Theater: the Tarantula_ "Innocence is dying in this sick and lonely world. Innocence is all that's promised in the next." _Sandman Mystery Theater: the Tarantula_ "We are MANLY! Beware. Beware, for your world will fall before us and our explosive might! FEEL OUR WRATH! We will walk among your bones and smell the stench of your flesh! Your children will be our slaves and your women will ripen our pants. Your pets will be our food and we will walk upon your CARS!" -Chuck Brown, the Grittite _Scud: the Disposible Assassin_ "Do you guys really care if some money goes from some rich people to us, only to be replaced by insurance? Is that what Doom Patrol is about now? We're not worth you using your gifts, and you damn well know it. Didn't you used to, you know, save the world and such? Look... you all and us, we're in the middle. On the far end on one side, there's the Justice League, all shiny and sweet. On the other far end, there're people like Joker and Darkseid, who'd kill everything and everyone, if they could. Us, we're in the grey zone. Neither side approves of either of us. -Catman, _Secret Six: Six Degrees of Devastation_ [Re: Secret Wars II] "The inherent fatal flaw in this is that no human writer can convincingly portray utterly omnipotent characters, and Jim Shooter proceeds to demonstrate this." -The Slings and Arrows Comic Guide "An' Juston... ya can't just change the rules ta suit ya. That's the easy way out, an' I don't think I raised you guys ta be that way" _Sentinel: Salvage_ "You know, I keep looking through the piles of gears and parts and stuff...? And I think that maybe there's that'll tell me why everyone picks on me. Or why I'm stuck in this lousy town, or why we're not all that well off, or why our mom left us... but it's just junk, you know? It's just junk." -Juston, _Sentinel: Salvage_ "You're the man with the power of a million exploding suns... and one sordid little secret." _The Sentry_ "Look at the world about you crumbling... but you don't have the nerve to admit it's your fault, do you?" _The Sentry_ "As you always knew it would be, in your heart of hearts. You're the last line of defense, arriving always in the nick of time as the world breathes a sigh of relief. You're the eternal-beloved, with one second remaining on the clock." _The Sentry_ "The battle is a perfectly coordinated assault... a mixture of loud explosions and heroic rallying cries combined with the stench of cordite and ozone." _The Sentry_ "The fear among the heroes is so thick you can touch it - somehow, you can feel what they feel. It's a curious, familiar sensation... almost as if all the terror and trepidation are necessary." _The Sentry_ "This is a day that will live in the hearts and minds of every hero, whether they are to remember it or not. Their nights are never going to be the same. As they fall into sleep, from this day on, there will be a short detour that takes them to a darker place where the Void will be waiting." _The Sentry_ "His fury this day is unimaginable - he must strike at the heart of all creation if he is going to survive. This world is everything he despises, this beast of impossible shadow... this monster of antithesis..." _The Sentry_ "It's the end of the story for this universe of marvels. We have turned the final page." _The Sentry_ "You remember what Dr. Finder said, Bob. 'You're not scared, you just think you are.' Fear's just a little black cloud, and when you think it's going to rain on you, you smile at it and all that light makes the cloud go away, okay?" _The Sentry_ [Blizzard tries to ambush She-Hulk in a bar. And fails.] Blizzard: Crud. This is the part where you beat me to a pulp, isn't it? And then send me back to the Vault with all the other small-time losers. She-Hulk: Nah. Want a drink? Blizzard: Um... okay. Sure. _She-Hulk: Single Green Female_ Jennifer: I mean, what's to stop any one of my rogues' gallery from attacking while - Scarlet Witch: A rogues' gallery? Since when do you have a rogues' gallery? Jennifer: Well... there's Titania, Ultima, the Man-Elephant... um... Titania... Scarlet Witch: You said Titania. _She-Hulk: Single Green Female_ Dr. Strange: Confront him with the truth that you have uncovered, and this Cage of Cytorrak will keep him. Jennifer: I thought the truth sets us free, Doctor. Dr. Strange: The spiritual realm, Jennifer, is filled with ironies. _She-Hulk: Single Green Female_ "Sometimes standing up for your friends means killing a whole lot of people." _Sin City_, Frank Miller "We're ice-hearted pistoleros from the murderverse, with chalk outlines round our souls!" -Finnigan Sinister, _Sinister Dexter_ "Apply the brakes, amigo. Two things you should know... Your aftershave makes the senora heave. And I am a professional killer with little or no patience. Now bug off." -Ramone Dexter, _Sinister Dexter_ "Still... gotta admire a guy who brings a nuke to a gunfight." -Ramone Dexter, _Sinister Dexter_ "I bet we don't even get a proper teleportation booth. I bet we get one of those dogs with a tuning fork..." _Smax_ Robyn: Jeez. That must have been tough, your parents dying. Smax: Yeah, it was. Thinking about it, I probably shouldn't have killed them. _Smax_ Smax: I had to get a job. Robyn: A *dragonslayer*? Jesus, Jeff. Couldn't you have, I don't know, just been a lumber jack or something? Why a dragonslayer? Smax: Well, if I'm honest, it was mostly the damsels. _Smax_ Smax: It's sort of a mess. See, my dad, he was this ogre... Robyn: Jeff, everybody says that about their dads. You've seen what mine can be like. Smax: Nah. No, I mean, he lived in a cave, body parts hanging up everywhere and like that. _Smax_ "Jeff, I'm fond of you like I'd be fond of some big, irritating dog that I didn't really want." -Robyn, _Smax_ Robyn: The guys at the precinct said when I was under that rubble, you cried like a girl. Smax: WHO? Dammit, who saw me do that? Robyn: Nobody. I was just guessing. _Smax_ "Of course they do, Jaafs, you were never good at making up stories. Really, you're pretty stupid." _Smax_ Robyn: Wait a minute. Are you Death? Lionel: *Hhahhhh* Well, I'm *a* Death, obviously, but I'm only the one who handles chess games with wily peasants. My name's Lionel. Nice meeting you. Robyn: Uh... likewise. So. I bet you're like, real good at chess? Lionel: Me? God, no. I'm terrible. All those stories, the peasant always wins, you'll notice. It's just I'm worse at everything else. _Smax_ Smax: Anyway, I'll be okay. I have a plan. Robyn: Jeff, you totally don't. If there's one thing I know, you do not have, it's a plan. Smax: Yes I do. Robyn: Oh, what, is this the plan where you go in and hit things until they stop moving or you do? It is, isn't it? _Smax_ "I don't need closure? You know what needs closure? Your mouth needs closure." _Smax_ Aldric: Ah, balls. I expect I'll have to go in with her. Smax: Yeah, she's little, but she's a bully. _Smax_ Smax: If we keep to these narrow tunnels, he can't follow us. Morningbright: But, if that were true, why would I have narrow tunnels in the first place? I fear you're not taking me seriously. You see, it's like this. In the beginning, God created me... Then he made the universe, from what was left over. You will never forget this next moment. _Smax_ "We all know how long Smith has waited for a presidential press pass and we definitely know what it means for all of us. If he beats my record time for presidential luncheon ejection tomorrow he gets my parking place for a year and the highly opulent 'Feast of the Successful Ejection.'" _Smith Brown Jones: Alien Accountant_ "Research shows most humans ignore the unusual. To deal with it would take precious time away from figuring out what's on TV." _Smith Brown Jones: Alien Accountant_ Enigman: Exactly! I am mystery wrapped in an enigma, lightly frosted with a conundrum. I am Enigman! Smith: Enigman? That starts with an 'E'. How come there's a 'Q' on your chest?! E: All part of the mystery! Orchestrated confusion, works every time. _Smith Brown Jones: Alien Accountant_ [fixing his broken translator:] "2, 4, 6, 8... we will dominate. That's better." -Phtang, _Smith Brown Jones: Alien Accountant_ "I'm not here to try out for the celestial debate squad." -Satan, _The Spectre_ "To put Spider-Man in perspective and show how important it is to me I can tell you this: when I made my first Holy Communion, when I was 7, I got a big, heavy, thick black marker and drew the lines of Spider-Man's mask on my face, including the big, bug eyes around my eyes. My plan was to color it in red, but then I got caught and my mom went crazy. She scrubbed my face but it just did not come off. In my Holy Communion pictures, which were a week later, you can still see the faint traces of Spider-Man's web and the eyes. If that's not a qualification for writing Spider-Man, then I don't know what is. That's how much Spider-Man means to me; that's how far back my love of the character goes." -Mark Millar "If there's one thing the movies teach us, it's that alien technology is always conveniently flawed." _Spider-man Family_ "This was just between the bad guys. You shouldn't even be involved. You wouldn't believe the stuff we get up to behind your backs. You wouldn't believe the stuff we do that the super heroes never even hear about." -Electro, _Spider-man_ (Marvel Knights) "And you didn't think I was this dangerous, huh? You didn't figure I'd even think of stuff like sparking the gas in the fuel tank and all sorts of crazy stuff like that? Well, prison gets you a lotta time to just sit around and talk about new ways you can use these freaky powers of ours, Spider-Man. Ionizing metal was Doctor Octopus' idea, by the way." -Electro, _Spider-man_ (Marvel Knights) "This is a job... for somebody else." _Spider-Man: Wild Blue Yonder_ "Absorbing Man - whew! He's tough. Good thing guys like the Avengers handle characters like - uh-oh." _Spider-Man: Wild Blue Yonder_ Spider-Man: Okay... this is kind of embarrassing... Hank Pym: You can't top my career in the embarrassment category. I mean, just for building Ultron alone... Spider-Man: Somebody stole my wallet. [Hank spits out his drink.] Spider-Man: Thanks for being so understanding... _Spider-Man: Wild Blue Yonder_ "You built an electronic device that interfaces with your arachnid powers? Did you know how many years it took me to build that capacity into my helmet? I don't know which is worse - that some kid is that much smarter that me, or that he's wasting his talent on punching thugs." -Hank Pym, _Spider-Man: Wild Blue Yonder_ [Peter picks up the phone at _The Bugle._] Reed Richards: Parker? This is Reed Richards. Peter: How did you find me here? Reed: If I can track subatomic particles through the Negative Zone... I can get your work number. _Spider-Man: Wild Blue Yonder_ The Owl: I can't believe I made all this money, but can't buy decent protection. minion: I think we need to go after some real heavy hitters, boss. The Owl: Like who? minion: I'm thinking... Thanos. Or Loki. _Spider-Man: Wild Blue Yonder_ SHIELD Agent: Gotta run. There's some nut in black leather and a cape trying to break into the Baxter Building, it's all over the news. Spider-Man: Sheesh... I think that one's mine too. _Spider-Man: Wild Blue Yonder_ "I knock things down. That's what I do." -Rhino, _Spider-man's Tangled Web_ "Jeez, even Rocket Racer and the Gibbon are laughing at me." _Spider-man's Tangled Web_ "God save me, a supervillian with a midlife crisis." _Spider-man's Tangled Web_ "If there's one thing I won't ever get get tired of... it's running through walls." -Rhino, _Spider-man's Tangled Web_ "My life isn't perfect, Carl. Far from it. And I could do without the death-defying exploits and the colorful villians, if I'm completely honest with you. All I want is to do a little bit of good. Let's go." _Spider-man's Tangled Web_ psychiatrist: Let's talk about the relationship between you and your own son. J. Jonah Jameson: Right, well he's kind of concentrating on his recovery... psychiatrist: Hmmm. Recovery from what? Alcohol, drugs...? Jameson: Lycanthropy. _Spider-man's Tangled Web_ "There is a school of thought, Mr. Jameson, that says super heroes have replaced God in the social consciousness. They are who we call when our problems outweigh our abilities... How did you feel when men appeared that not only claimed to be heroes, but covered their faces? Did you see your father, Mr. Jameson? Did you convince yourself that these men had something to hide?... You had to know, didn't you, Mr. Jameson? You had to know what horrible secret these men were hiding. When did you stop believing in heroes, Mr. Jameson?" _Spider-man's Tangled Web_ "No one's a hero, doc. Especially not me." -J. Jonah Jameson, _Spider-man's Tangled Web_ "He's just a guy trying to buck the system. In a frog suit." _Spider-Man's Tangled Web_ "Every facet of my intelligence is being assaulted at once, and I can't look away. What kind of cultural sadist is in charge down there?" _Spider-man's Tangled Web_ "If you hadn't gone with the story, someone else would have. You're a cog in the machine. But then, so am I. They had their agenda. And I have mine." -Hyperion, _Squadron Supreme_ Blur: So what're you saying... That the world is gonna turn on us one of these days? Hyperion: If they're smart. _Squadron Supreme_ "Smartest man on the planet, remember?" -Emil Burbank, _Squadron Supreme_ "You think I'd get into a small space with a freak show like this without figuring out how to protect myself?" -Emil Burbank, _Squadron Supreme_ "War is the implementation of policy by other means. We *are* that means." -Emil Burbank, _Squadron Supreme_ "I've never understood the point of world domination. I mean, once you've conquered the world, what do you *do* with it? I've given it a lot of thought, but never came up with a solution." -Emil Burbank, _Squadron Supreme_ "Helmet's not much good anymore. Can't do much if you can't see straight. Armor's a help, but all armor has flaws." -Bly, _Star Wars: Republic_ "I don't pretend to know what the Force is or how it works. Not something clones deal with. Not a color I see. Not a sound I hear. Maybe it's like the way the hairs on the back of my neck bristle before I first hear a battle droid or incoming missiles. Maybe the Force is like that. Maybe it's like the Jedi's armor." -Bly, _Star Wars: Republic_ "I remember the night you were born. Your mother holding you in her arms. 'Our son will be an artist,' she said. But I looked in your eyes and I knew your destiny, then and there. I looked into your baby face and I knew. You'd be a hero. That's why I named you Jack. A hero's name. -Ted Knight, _Starman: Sins of the Father_ "Yes, yes. Me. The big, bad villian. The big, bad wolf." -the Shade, _Starman: Sins of the Father_ The Mist: Is it me, then, growing old? Or do all the costumed do-gooders begin to blur into one annoying mess after a while. The Shade: Don't worry. I get them mixed up, too. And I'm sure they say the same about us. _Starman: Sins of the Father_ Hope O'Dare: The Mist's hideout! You know where it is? Shade: No, we met on park benches, like spies in a Len Deighton Novel. _Starman: Sins of the Father_ "Superheroes, supervillians. It's all self-propogating kid stuff. A chance for grown men to put their underwear on outside their tights." _Starman: Sins of the Father_ "And as for those who'd ally themselves with the Knights old and young... kill them all. Be cruel that my name be feared all the more. In their last moments, have them rue every moment prior." -the Mist, _Starman: Sins of the Father_ "Committed bad deeds? Of course I do. Not that I need to anymore. But it goes beyond the desire for money and fine things after a while? ... Doesn't it? It becomes a need itself." -the Shade, _Starman: Sins of the Father_ "Why? Am I k-k-killing you? Because of h-hate. My father hates y-your father hates m-mine. Someone hate somebody e-e-else. It's the stuff of w-w-war and opera. So-s-soldiers or the chorus, d-depending on your pre-pre-preference of metaphor. We do the killing. And the dying." -Nash, the Mist's daughter, _Starman: Sins of the Father_ "You're Starman now? You're the man, right? Well, wait and see what I become." -Nash, the Mist's daughter, _Starman: Sins of the Father_ Jack: So how does he keep you all here? What power does he have? Octavia: The supernatural. He... isn't... isn't - Jack: What? Man, talk about a pregnant pause. He isn't what? Presbyterian? Circumcised? A vegetarian? A Jackie Gleason fan? What? Octavia: Bliss isn't human. Jack: Oh. Well, that's certainly the big "isn't" when you boil them all down. _Starman: Night and Day_ "It's addictive, son. That alone is enough for some to don the colored costumes and run around like idiots." -Ted, _Starman: Night and Day_ Shade: He was a student of the occult... at some point this involved him summoning a devil... a demon... or something of that sort. Jack: You seem so off-hand when saying it. Shade: Jack, my life has been a... mosaic of such horrors. You see one demon, you've seen them all. _Starman: Night and Day_ "A drama is beginning. The players are gathered. And everyone will have a role to play. Tomorrow, on a day unlike any other. When what makes a hero will be defined in the thoughts and actions of each soul shown here. Or what makes a villain... what makes a villain... and an enemy for life." _Starman: Night and Day_ "One thing though. Going back to the Mist. She said that she and I are alike. I inferred she meant that we are both like players in a pantomime. She's bad, and I'm good, but we're just acting out parts. Nothing really matters. I didn't like hearing that, Davey. I'm going to prove her wrong, too, if I can ever think of a way." _Starman: A Wicked Inclination..._ "There are some cities where a vigilante such as Starman would be discouraged. And there are cities... Gotham springs to mind, where having a mystery man is considered something of an asset. Jim Gordon and Batman supposedly have a relationship. Which kind of city should Opal be? And which kind of commissioner should it have?" -Woo, _Starman: A Wicked Inclination..._ Ted: You become caught up in it. Not the danger. Not the public spirit. It's the rush. That delicious quiver in your stomach when you know a battle is do or die. Jack: You feel it too, huh? Ted: I did. I outgrew it. Many of us do. Rex Tyler, on the other hand, never shook it off. He was a man who fought addictions and beat most of them. This was the one he couldn't shake. _Starman: A Wicked Inclination..._ "Hamlet's gravedigger said it. That his work began the day Hamlet was born. That the moment we're born we begin dying. I fear death. No. Not death, but dying. How. Not death and whatever follows, but the act of aging into nothing. Old actors. Movies show them young. Young. Sharp. Cool. They grow old. They lose everything they had. They grow weak. Sometimes I think James Dean did it right. Make three great movies then split on beautiful wheels. The world never forgets you. Linger on, get pushed around in a wheelchair like Cagney, get Alzheimer's like Rita Hayworth, and the world tries to forget you. It's just too painful otherwise." _Starman: A Wicked Inclination... "I didn't know that much about Wesley Dodds. I know that when everyone else jumped into gaudy long jonhs he stayed in a three-piece suit and a gas mask. Have to admire him for that. I knew he was older and earlier than the others. And I knew... actually, that's all I knew." _Starman: A Wicked Inclination..._ "'Hmm, how queer,' the shadowy shadowy man muses, as he charges and leaps. 'How utterly odd for me to be doing such a thing. This is how a hero acts... not one such as me.'" _Starman: A Wicked Inclination..._ [Seeing Wesley Dodds for the first time.] "But I don't see him as small. No. I see the man who did it first. The man driven enough to begin it all. I see a giant. It didn't matter at all to me. Dodds, and his past. Then in a wave of emotion I can't begin to understand... it suddenly means everything." _Starman: A Wicked Inclination..._ A thug: We've received word. Merritt: From where? A thug: Everywhere, Mr. Merritt. You know how it is. One person hears a rumor, and suddenly everyone's got the news on their lips. Merritt: Well, no, I don't know anything of the kind. But if you say so. _Starman: A Wicked Inclination..._ "Jack can't see Wesley's face behind the mask, but imagines him wildly laughing at fate... in grainy black and white." _Starman: A Wicked Inclination..._ "I don't know. If someone had told me I'd willingly dive through the gates of Hell, I'd say they were screwy. Why am I here? It seemed like a good idea at the time." _Starman: A Wicked Inclination..._ "[Jack] felt my generation's greatest crime was not realizing how beautifully designed our world was. We allowed things to become so streamlined and simplified that everything elegant went away." -Ted, _Starman: Times Past_ "Me, I'm no authority on the subject... but isn't that what makes a hero? Doing what's right because it is. Simple. No vengeful motivation. Nothing ulterior." _Starman: Times Past_ "I'm on first name terms with a ghost. A nautical ghost." _Starman: Infernal Devices_ "Batman's 'the dark knight'. Superman's 'the man of steel'. I'm I'm not careful, I'll be Starman 'the hero who gets knocked out and tied up a lot." _Starman: Infernal Devices_ "Batman? He seems so wrapped up in his dark, dire persona... takes himself so seriously. He is everything I hate about today's heroes." _Starman: Infernal Devices_ "I feel so conflicted. And scared. What if this was indeed the end? But I also felt excitement... as I did every time Culp and I had met. This was life and death for two who seemed destined never to know the end of mortality's arc. And I felt joy. A strange contentment. Knowing this was my destiny. One reason I first drew breath. And through it all, a single thought in my head... how perfectly perfect. My one thought... until the moment I realized. I still had fight withing me... and Simon Culp had none of it." -The Shade, _Starman_ "Somewhere, in our darkest night, we made up the story of a man who will never let us down..." -Grant Morrison "Imagine life on this world if some opportunistic alien vermin hadn't decided to dump its trash here, Kent. That's all I've ever asked anyone to do. Imagine how it was meant to be." -Lex Luthor, _All-Star Superman_ "Ever seen bullets actually bounce off a man, Mr. Kent?" _Superman_ #145 Jimmy: Don't you ever wonder what it'd be like working for a paper where we weren't covering stories about super-villians and fifth-dimensional imps? Lois: To be honest...? I wouldn't have it any other way, kid. _Superman Adventures_ "Hey, I'm a big girl. I've punched Braniac in the face." -Lois, _Superman Adventures_ Marty: I used to think you had it made, but bein' Superman's th' hardest job in th' world. Superman: No, Marty. Being a man is. _Mann and Superman_ "It gave me some time to think. Where does he go? When he's not Superman, I mean. Then I thought, man, maybe he never takes a break. Maybe he's on call 24-7. He's gotta be the loneliest guy on the planet. Then I figured out what he said about choosing being hard. It's like, every time he saves someone from a burning building - or rescues a cat from a tree - it's time he could have spent on himself. But he didn't. It's sacrifice. And, I suppose, it's what seperates the heroes from the rest of us." _Supermen of America_, #1 "It is a remarkable dichotomy. In many ways, Clark is the most human of us all. Then... he shoots fire from the skies and it is difficult not think of him as a god." -Batman, _Superman/Batman_ "They all laughed at Christopher Columbus." -Lex Luthor, _Superman/Batman_ Amanda Waller: There's been talk that you haven't thought this through - Lex Luthor: On the contrary, I've thought of little else. _Superman/Batman_ Captain Atom: I need to speak to you, sir. President Luthor: Captain, is your ability to pick inappropriate times for our discussions some sort of "super power" we don't know about? _Superman/Batman_ [Batman is standing in a half-dug-up grave.] Superman: Some mess you've got out here. Batman: I've seen worse. Superman: Scary part is... I know you have. _Superman/Batman_ Superman: Your... butler guards the cave with a shotgun? You didn't have a spare Mister Freeze ray gun he could use? Batman: This from a man who uses a dog with a cape to protect his fortress. _Superman/Batman_ "I know that Bruce thinks I'm being naive. The Kansas farmboy underthinking what is happening. Underestimating me. It's a common mistake." -Superman, _Superman/Batman_ Superman: We're surrounded, you know. I can hear them all. Batman: I think we can take them. Do you think we can take them? Superman: You always think we can take them. _Superman/Batman_ "I had to tell Clark. Nothing is ever simple. Even if you are they most powerful man in the world. Especially then." -Batman, _Superman/Batman_ Superman: Do you know what I was thinking about the other day? Batman: No. Superman: Magpie. Batman: The criminal? Superman: Do we know another "Magpie"? ...Whatever happened to her? Batman: She died. Superman: No... are you sure? Batman: Reasonably. Superman: Why is it the good villians never die? Batman: Clark. What the hell are "good" villians? _Superman/Batman_ "'Super. Hearing.' There are days when Clark never ceases to amaze me." -Batman, _Superman/Batman_ "I always thought if it were going to end, Clark would be there." -Batman, _Superman/Batman_ Metallo: I didn't want for it to go down this way, Superman. Superman: When you got up this morning, Metallo, what way *did* you expect it to go? _Superman/Batman_ "He hates it... all of it. he hates what he has to do in order to do what he wants to do. All he wanted was to help people. To do something positive. And the price of that, it seems... the price of that is not being able to trust anyone. To have your innermost dreams and fears seduced out of you for the world's entertainment." _Superstar_ Ubi dubium, ibi libertas Where there is doubt, there is freedom. _Supreme Power_ "I called this country home. I was loyal. I believed. I believed all of it. And you have destroyed it. That is, you have destroyed it within the borders of the country I had come to love. Perhaps you did not stop to think that there are other countries, other nations, for whichthis would not be a problem." -Hyperion, _Supreme Power_ "You have done all this because you believe you have the power to act with impunity. You, who walk in the shadows, who play with lives the way a child plays with blocks. You have no idea what power is. By at 8:30 p.m. Eastern Standard Time, your definition of power will become a bit clearer." -Hyperion, _Supreme Power_ "Look, you're new to this, but - as you can already plainly see - the system is fucked up. Justice can prevail... but sometimes it needs a little nudge." _Supreme Power: Nighthawk_ "Everyone dreams of changing the world. I only want to change it back." -Steeplejack, _The Surrogates_ "The problem with an Achilles heel is that you don't know it's there until someone strikes it." -Det. Greer, _The Surrogates_ "Do not make the mistake of trusting that because you have more power, you are more powerful." _The Surrogates: Flesh and Bone_ "...A little something I like to call Edison's Razor. Basically, the idea that is the most obvious, cliched explanation is probably not the right one. Clones and impersonator robots are so old hat." -Edison, _Tales from the Bully Pulpit_ Thomas Edison: I think you'll find that your machine is now fully equipped to travel through space as well as time. Teddy Roosevelt: All you did was add little wings. Edison: No, Teddy. All I did was add *science.* And a love seat. _Tales from the Bully Pulpit_ "Poor Richard's Almanack predicts a hailstorm of fists coming your way." -Ben Franklin, _Tales from the Bully Pulpit_ "Ich habe amassed un army the likes of which the world has never seen! Julius Caesar! Communism's poster boy, Chairman Mao! His interdimensional anthropomorphic counterpart, Chairman Meow! Die terror of Israel, Goliath of Gath! Your friend und mine, Saddam Hussein!" -Hitler, _Tales from the Bully Pulpit_ Hitler: You're mine. Lincoln: Bring it, Boy. I'm gonna emancipate your teeth. _Tales from the Bully Pulpit_ "Beast Boy. The first time I met him, all I could think about was how he smelled like a wet dog. I don't think many people notice his attributes. But I was trained to see subtleties. The way he scratches his ear. The way his eyes dart around. And he's always looking for approval. Whether it be from the public or the Titans. Is it his personality? Or the animals inside him? -Robin, _Teen Titans_ "Hell, I did a good ten years of Titans stories. Of course, they were spread out over a sixteen year run, but who's counting." -Marv Wolfman Brainiac 5: ...Those vibrations, unfortunately, can be generated only by XS and Koko here. Bart: My name is Kid Flash now. Koko was what you called your monkey. Brainiac 5: Exactly. _Teen Titans/Legion Special_ [Brainiac 5 orders people around.] Raven: That green guy is an ass. Gar: God, I hope we're not related. _Teen Titans/Legion Special_ [Brainiac 5 gives Bart a shot in the arm.] Bart: YEEOW! What the-? Who let Brainiac 5 have a nail gun? Brainy, don't shoot! It's me! Bart Allen! Don'y you remember me? Brainiac 5: Are you joking? I drink to forget you. _Teen Titans/Legion Special_ Starfire: Well there is something definitly wrong with Beast Boy. Wonder Girl: How do you know that? Starfire: He normally just stares at my chest. _Teen Titans_ "Nah, Frankie. You're not stupid. In fact, I think yer the smartest kid I know. And yer dad knows how smart you are too. See, sometimes his ten-syllable words don't get through my thick skull. But he knew you'd be smart enough to say what hadda be said... in a way even I could unnerstand." _The Thing: Idol of Millions_ Irma: See, what it is, your "emotions," they're just part of your programming... Joe Pi: And yours aren't? _Top 10_ "Father always said that every scientific discovery began with those two words: 'What If.'" -Machine Man, _Universe X_ "Yet there we were. Fighting madmen. Madmen who believed they were defending what was rightfully theirs. We beat our chests and closed our fists over our hearts and swore we'd fight to the death for the sake of freedom." -Captain America, _Universe X_ "And living our days in fears of futures now past is no way to live." -Angel, _Universe X_ "I swore that day I would never kill again, that to kill again would be to shame everything I'd ever fought for. To kill again would be my failure. But who ever heard of a soldier that wouldn't take a life?" -Captain America, _Universe X_ "It can be pretty scary to find out your myths are real." -Ka-zar, _Universe X_ "You can't stop me. Not unless I let you." -Captain America, _Universe X_ "You fail to know how old you are until you discover that you are never going to die." -Gargoyle, _Universe X_ "We are a rare few, we who the world once called heroes. To a very real degree, Steve Rogers was, to those he protected and fought for... an unknown soldier. But aren't we all? To die so that others will live has always been our lot. Our definition. But where does this come from? Why do we do it? Some say we do this for ourselves. For the thrill. To be admired. To be looked up to. Yet here we are. Again mourning perhaps our greatest champion. A nomad in a world that no longer believed in the America that made him what he was. It was not for this world that he fought, but for the ideals of the world he hoped this one might become. That was his example to us. He showed us the cost. Steve showed us that blood is seed. We cannot forget. We dare not. And we must hope, for those of us still here, that this man who fought for God and country, has at last finally been able to gain citizenship in that place. And that he's making room for us." -Wyatt/Falcon, _Universe X_ "You read any Greek myths, puppy? The one bout the Gorgon Medusa, particularly? I used to wonder what could be so terrible that you couldn't survive even looking at it. Until I got a little older, and figured out the obvious answer. Everything." -Pullman, _The Unwritten_ "...The Vault is a dramatically-flawed idea - either villains escape a lot (which is what happened) and the result is that this supposedly-cool place looks like it's made of cardboard, or they don't, in which case villains get captured and vanish from the Marvel U. forever, since Marvel time mitigates against their sentences ever being naturally completed." -Kurt Busiek, 2001 "I hear you. I'd love to know how the Raiders are doing. If there's any team that could survive this... it's them." _The Walking Dead: Miles Behind Us_ "I been doing his job since I was fourteen years old honey, and I don't regret a single thing. How many people get to thirty-five and still able to say that, huh?" -Fox, _Wanted_ Rictus: Feeling a little guilty about swapping sides like this, Sucker? Sucker: Are you kidding? We been hiding in the shadows way too long already, man. What's the point of having all this goddamned power if we don't let it go to our heads once in a while? _Wanted_ "The newspapers were just full'a freaky shit back in those days, man; villains that could walk through walls, villains dressed like crossword puzzles, villains who could travel through clocks and paintings. The papers just look so goddamn boring now with their presidential elections and Dow Jones indexes." -Fox, _Wanted_ "The Illuminati is real - and God help us, they have superpowers." _Wanted_ (_Wanted Dossier_) "Only difference between a dream and a nightmare is how big your balls are, bitch." -the Fox, _Wanted_ Wesley: What are you saying? That my dad was involved in whatever it is you people do? The Fox: You mean was your old man one of the greatest super villians of all time? Yes, Wesley, that's *exactly* what I'm saying. _Wanted_ [Rictus shoots two parents, but not their son.] "Leave him. With any luck, he'll spend the next eighteen years training himself to avenge these idiots and give me someone interesting to fight when I'm an old man." -Mr. Rictus, _Wanted_ "You were the scariest man alive one time. Can you believe that? The scariest man alive, and all they'll remember you for is the corny jokes and those silly nylon tights." -Mr. Rictus, _Wanted_ Adam One: You start taking cities apart with those toys and you'll have every cape in the multi-verse coming down on us, Rictus. Mr. Rictus: Ah, who cares? After eighteen years counting money in the shadows, I'm afraid there's only one thing we've got to say to that, Adam One: bring it on. _Wanted_ "Now go switch on your TV sets and take a look at the future, boys. No more peace, no more gritty realism. The good old days are back with a vengeance, only now we don't have the superheroes to hold back our wildest excesses." -Mr. Rictus, _Wanted_ "We didn't become super-villains to sit behind desks and manage this global conspiracy, Adam One. We donned these costumes, in the parlance of today, to start some shit." -Mr. Rictus, _Wanted_ "Others walk through walls, ride sound-waves or do freaky shit with mirrors and paintings. But my super-power is just killing people. My special gift is just stopping people breathing... And sometimes that's scarier than every other power put together." -Wesley, _Wanted_ "It was the perfect plan. What better way to keep control than making everyone forget there had ever been a revolution?" _Wanted_ "No one's going to be able to follow this." -Alan Moore, on his thoughts while writing _Watchmen_ "I'd have liked to have seen more people trying to do something that was as techincally complex as _Watchmen_, or as ambitious, but which wasn't strumming the same chords that _Watchmen_ had strummed so repetitively." -Alan Moore "_Watchmen_ took the history of comics and used it as a template for examining the human condition in a way no one had seen before." -Joss Whedon "This is the gun of the future. And our wars of tomorrow will be fought by remote-controlled animals, like these. Living weapons, senator." _we3_ "...What kind of a lunatic would teach a killing machine to talk?" _we3_ "First of all, thank you for bringing up my pelvis. I agree with you completely about Logan. Do you write a great emotional speech for Clint Eastwood? Not so much. Plus, [Wolverine]'s in EVERY BOOK. I think he just joined the JLA, and for some reason he appears in the revised Penguin edition of _Little Dorrit_." -Joss Whedon, SFX Katie: So what brings you to the land of the rising sun? Wolverine: Ancient samurai curse. You? Julie: Wacky Japanese game show. _Wolverine and Power Pack_ Wolverine: Besides, real power don't come from mutant genes or magic spells. Julie: Duh. It comes from alien horsies. _Wolverine and Power Pack_ "Paranoia is not the disease that keeps me incarcerated here. Like many of the old-line Stalinists, I suffer from a touch of megalomania." -Dr. Neutron, _Wolverine: Meltdown_ “When you need to stop an asteroid, you get Superman. When you need to solve a mystery, you call Batman. But when you need to end a war, you get Wonder Woman.” -Gail Simone "Some people are like that. They carry their strengths inside, to be discovered with their secrets." _Wonder Woman: the Hiketeia_ "Greek tragedy is always a story of the insoluble. The conflict of personal desire versus the demands of society. And tragedies always begin long before the first scene is ever played... they are born often enough of actions taken in purity, be it intention or emotion... done no more often than not for the best of reasons. But all tragedies end the same way." _Wonder Woman: the Hiketeia_ Batman: Don't make me go through you, Diana. Wonder Woman: You can't go through me, Batman. _Wonder Woman: the Hiketeia_ Laura: If I am the only person in the world who believes in doing what is good, then I'm abnormal. I can't believe that what's good is abnormal. Ether I'm right and the world is wrong, or I'm crazy. I don't really like either option. Anne: Maybe you are right. Maybe the rest of us are fucked up. Laura: How can I have a set of beliefs that is completely different from the rest of the world's, and yet still be right? Anne: Maybe you're from Saturn. Laura: Oh, yeah, right. Thanks. _Why I Hate Saturn_ "Kang, meanwhile, enjoys traveling through time and meeting his equally unsuccessful dopplegangers, so they can swap stories of failure." -Wizard magazine, #138 "The real problem with having mind-controlled zombies as my servants is that it's tough to get up a really sincere-sounding round of cheers when I've come up with a plan I think is worth cheering." -Maximus, _X-Factor_ Annual #2 Proteus: Don't engage us in pointless combat. Iceman: Hey - pointless combat is what we do best, buddy! _X-Factor_ Annual #6 (1994) "I didn't think you had hobbies, 355. Other than, you know, cleaning guns and sharpening knives and... well, generally fidgeting with things that kill people." -Yorick, _Y the Last Man: Unmanned_ "Rest assured, when the game is over, the queen and pawn go back into the same box." -Victoria, _Y the Last Man: Unmanned_ "...Once you make it past the scales and the blindfold... Justice is a woman with a sword." -Victoria, _Y the Last Man: Cycles_ Yorick: I still don't understand why you can't just, you know, scrape a few cells from my cheek and do your clone war experiments without me. Mann: Yes, well, perhaps that's why you didn't receive the National Medal of Science. Yorick: Maybe not, but I almost qualified for the President's Physical Fitness Award in sixth grade. Almost. _Y the Last Man: Cycles_ "Don't get me wrong, I still want to do whatever I can to help, but my motto's always been 'with little power comes little responsibility.'" _Y the Last Man: One Small Step_ 355: It's a secret installation, Yorick. It's not supposed to look like the Pentagon. Yorick: Yeah, but a barn? That's where bandits go to hide before they inevitably get shot to death. Dr. Mann: John Wilkes Booth was killed inside a barn. Yorick: Seriously, haven't we been through enough sieges already? 355: Well, seeing as we're neither old-timey outlaws or rebel assassins, I think we're in the clear. _Y the Last Man: One Small Step_ "Sorry, ladies, I guess that's our cue. We like to storm into town, inflict maximum damage, and then disappear... like a KISS concert." _Y the Last Man: One Small Step_ "The point is, nobody knows who they are, where they came from, or why they're here. That's where we come in." -J. Jonah Jameson, _Young Avengers: Sidekicks_ Liz Farrell: Okay, I'm sorry, but - who's Bucky? J. Jonah Jameson: "Who's Bucky?" Jessica Jones: Bucky was Captain America's sidekick during World War Two. Jameson: How could you not know Bucky? How old are you? Liz: It was World War Two. How old are you? Jonah: I was extremely young back then, thank you for asking. Young enough - and naive enough - to want to be Bucky. Jessica: You wanted to be Bucky? Jonah: Every kid did. Until Captain America led a fourteen-year-old boy behind enemy lines... and got him killed. Suddenly, I didn't want to be Bucky anymore. Nobody did. From then on, sidekicks only showed up in comic books. Jessica: Until now. _Young Avengers: Sidekicks_ J. Jonah Jameson: So. You'll find the kids, get their story, and practice your mothering skills all at the same time. Jessica Jones: What mothering skills? Jonah: Exactly. _Young Avengers: Sidekicks_ Jessica Jones: How'd you guys know I was here. Iron Man: We have our ways. Jessica: My boyfriend told you, didn't he? Iron Man: Yes, he did. _Young Avengers: Sidekicks_ Jessica Jones: Is this a time travel thing? 'Cause I hate time travel things. Iron Man: If it's Kang, it's a time travel thing. Jessica: See, that's why I hate Kang. That and the conquering. And his mask is weird, too. Captain America: It's more like a helmet. _Young Avengers: Sidekicks_ A man who can rewrite history cannot be defeated." -Kang, _Young Avengers: Sidekicks_ Iron Lad: Because she wasn't part of the Avengers Failsafe Program. Jessica Jones: There was an Avengers Failsafe Program? Captain America: Not that I'm aware of. _Young Avengers: Sidekicks_ "I founded the Avengers because - at the time - it seemed like the world needed us... But the scale of our missions - and the team itself - became so huge that we got lost in it." _Young Avengers: Sidekicks_ "Okay, this completely violates Growing Man continuity." -Asgardian, _Young Avengers: Sidekicks_ "Do you have any idea how many people out there could use our help? We can't just stop because Captain America thinks we're too young." _Young Avengers: Sidekicks_ Cassie: Now it's our lair. Billy: We have an actual lair? Kate: Right now we have an abandoned warehouse. _Young Avengers: Sidekicks_ "Ms. Jones, my dad was Ant-man. I never had a normal life. I never wanted one. Did you?" -Cassie, _Young Avengers Special_
Page by: Paul M. M. Jacobus (paul@otd.com)
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